Fully Alive
by TweedleDuh
Summary: Revenge is a scary thing... and the Winchesters are surrounded by it. Can the brothers survive a vicious dose of payback as their past comes back to haunt them?
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone!!!! Waves excitedly! Well I had an other idea! And I actually got down to writing it pretty quickly after Blind and Alone was finished! Hope you all enjoy it… It's more Angsty goodness.

The title is a song title that I somehow connect this story too even though its about a girl LOL Listen to it if you like. Its by Fly Leaf.

Anyways… I gotta get this up quick! The horsies need me.

Let me know what you think so far.

* * *

A glint of hazel was the only clue of awareness from the incapacitated form below him. The clouded mind of his prey excited him, made him giddy. There would be no way in hell the bastard could fight back this time. The part in him that was just not quite right took pleasure in the control he had of the situation.

"The big bad Winchesters…" He spat with a feral smile. "Always good in a pinch…"

A sickening chuckle rolled up his throat. He wanted to savor the weakness of his enemy. He wanted to make him hurt.

Clinking of metal objects brought the hazy glance of hazel to flicker in his direction. His smile grew wider at the attention and he picked up an object from a nearby table. Leaning foreword, taunting his captor with the danger he now grasped, he tilted his head to the side while running its sharp edge up the glistening, heaving bare chest of his prisoner. Just enough to cause the skin underneath to shudder at the cold tip.

"What a predicament we're in aren't we? The tables are turned… Now I'M not the one tied up."

He watched the small strain of muscles below him and shook his head, "Tuting" the action in disappointment.

"Now now… you know you can't move. Why try?" A rustling behind him stopped his advance of the sharp edge and he turned his head to the source that was just out of eyesight of the captured man.

"Get over here… NOW!" The anger and distaste dripped from his voice. "Don't screw up or you'll be where he is."

The threat didn't go unheeded and now two figured towered over foggy eyesight.

"You know what to do. Not too much. I want him to feel it for a long time." The second form nodded from above and the sharp metal graced exposed skin once again, preparing itself to do what it did best. "I'm not going to lie to you. This is REALLY going to hurt."

Crimson suddenly appeared on pale skin as he sliced the knife across strained muscles. No scream would be heard, no resistance would be had and he smiled wider as he dragged the knife across the chest of his enemy.

The eyes of his captor were the only indication of a reaction and an adrenaline rush overtook him as he witnessed the hazel orbs go wide.

"Paybacks a bitch… Isn't it Dean?" He whispered, picking up the sharp hunting knife momentarily only to find a new position and start an other thin line of red.

* * *

_Two Days Later_

Sam burst through the old rotting doors. His senses were instantly overloaded with smells and noises but all were ignored as his long legs raced to someone… anyone that could help. The place was crowded… crowded and distance. He grabbed attention from different pairs of eyes but none belonged to the right person. Their curious stares stung at him and his breathing started to become more labored at the anxiety and panic filtering through his tired body.

"Sam?"

The strained man swung around at the familiar voice and a heavy breath escaped him in momentary relief.

"Ellen! I… I…."

Sam's eyes darted around the bar area. More and more interested and curious stares were in his direction and his mouth dropped in the mistake he was making.

"I shouldn't have come here…" He started, letting his eyes now flicker to the door he had just entered. This was wrong. He shouldn't have come here. Too many people he didn't know… too many hunters… This was so very wrong.

"Well you're here Sam." Ellen said sternly, the glasses in her hands now gone and gripping at the young man's shaking arms. "Come on…" Her hold on him turned into a pull and Sam followed her willingly to the back of the Roadhouse, away from the prying eyes and judging stares.

"What is it Sam. What's wrong? Where's Dean?" Sam's tear ridden eyes grew larger at the mention of his brother's name and Ellen instantly knew what the problem was. "Is he ok??" Her voice was now thick with worry and her accusing bitchy words to the older of the Winchester sibling's just months beforehand started to sting with guilt. She knew her and her daughter's words stung them hard. They hadn't been around since that day and she knew for sure Sam wouldn't have been here right now standing broken in front of her if it wasn't important.

"Oh god I don't know!" Sam finally choked out. Suddenly his eyes went wild and he flung himself around to face back in the bars direction. "I need Ash!"

"Calm down Sam. I'll get Ash." Ellen opened up a door in the back hallway they were standing in to reveal a sparsely finished bedroom. "Sit…" She ordered, pointing to a chair on the other side of the room. "I don't want you out there in that bar with those hunters. They saw enough."

Sam nodded and sluggishly moved his limbs into the dark room. Ellen couldn't' help but compare his movements to a child that had just watched his dog get hit by a car. Sam was lost…

"First I want you to tell me what happened. The less we have to tell Ash… or anyone… the better."

Sam lowered himself slowly into the old wooden chair and quickly found an interesting spot on the floor to stare at, clearly trying to focus on what to say. This was the reason he came after all. He needed help as much as he didn't want to admit it. The last place he thought he'd find himself was at the Roadhouse but after two days of searching on his own and coming up empty he had to do what was right for Dean no matter how out of their nature it was. Dad wasn't there anymore to help… Pastor Jim and Caleb were gone. There weren't many other people that Sam trusted except Bobby and a few others. But Bobby had done enough for them already and besides which he was good at spells and curses. He may have been considered a fellow "Hunter" but the Winchesters were the epitome of the word. Finding someone who measured up to help find his brother was going to be an impossible task.

"We… we were on a hunt not far from here. When we were done we stopped at a motel to sleep. I… I couldn't sleep so I went to get a coffee and when I came back Dean was gone!"

"Were you two fighting?" Ellen risked asking the question even though she was pretty sure that wasn't the case.

"No! Dean was sleeping when I left! We were hunting a werewolf and we both got knocked around pretty good… he took a shower and fell asleep!"

"Did he leave a note?"

"No! Do you think I'd be this upset if he did? And the car was still there! Ellen… his shoes…" Sam's voice caught in his throat and the old barmaid nodded in understanding, knowing Sam couldn't finish that sentence.

"Why do you need Ash…?"

"Security cameras… anything… something…" Sam looked up into the woman's eyes; his brown eyes filtering through hot unshed tears. "I need help Ellen… I have to find him. I'm afraid that…"

Sam took a deep breath and cut off his sentence again. It was just too hard to talk about it and his eyes turned back to the interesting spot on the floor.

"Its ok Sam… We'll help as best we can." And with a comforting rub of the young mans shoulders she set off out the bedroom door to find Ash.

The hunt for Dean Winchester was now fully underway.


	2. Chapter 2

Helloooo! Wow everyone! Thank you for the reviews!! I am amazed at the response the first chapter got! I hope I can live up to everyones expectations!

Just a few things before i start... I just got done with replying to everyone! I hope you all get them. For some reason is doing its normal crap again.

Also!

JRAismine! You are right.. lil mistake there! thats what i get for not having a Beta LOL

And Pandora Jazz.. Thank you! glad to have you back as a reader! I would have respodned to you but i never got the Review e-mail. I saw it on the Stat page though! Crazy urg!

Enjoy everyone! Lemme know how i'm doin so far! I promise this story will be more fast paced then Blind and Alone LOL

* * *

Dean didn't know how long he was out… or even what day it was for that matter. The only thing he could deduce was that he wouldn't be moving around any time soon. His arms were tightly tied above his head, which seemed overkill to him. If they thought there was a chance of him escaping then they truly underestimated the power the crap they were pumping him with.

He could hardly move a muscle. He could still feel everything right down to the sting radiating from his chest. But movement just wouldn't come to him. Moving his head the slightest bit to get a look at where he was being held was about all he could muster and it didn't take long for him to realize that maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"Oh! You're awake! Finally… Dean I was starting to get rather bored."

'_God damn it…' _Dean growled in his mind. Just what he needed…

"Are you ready for more fun? I know I am! I've been itching to try some different things you see. I figured you wouldn't mind."

'_As if I had a choice you psycho…'_

"Encase you are wondering… you've been out for two days."

_'Two?! Two fucking days? Oh god… Sammy…'_

"I suppose I got a little… uh... knife happy the other day."

_'I hate you… I fucking hate you…'_

"It took days for you to heal. I guess I might have given you too much of that "Miracle Mix" huh? I'll have to keep that in mind. The more you have the more time it takes for you to heal up. Interesting…"

_'Oh if I could only move…'_

"Well Dean... Lets get back to business shall we?"

An evil smile halted Dean's inner thoughts as the insane man above him brought a smoking object into view. It was a long iron rod, glowing red at the tip. The sizzling sound that hissed from it signaled just how hot the metal was.

"It's a shame you can't scream… Cause I'm sure I would have highly enjoyed the sound."

Dean slammed his eyes shut, hoping and wishing that he were somewhere else. But all of the wishing in the world couldn't help him now. Searing hot pain ripped through his torso as he lay chemically altered and unable to stop the burning of his flesh. The pain was so unbearable that he never noticed a gentle hand rest on his forehead.

'_Sammy… Help…_' Were the only thoughts he could muster as warm salty tears escaped the corners of his eyes.

* * *

"I think I got somethin'."

Sam nearly knocked over the barstool at Ash's declaration and crossed the empty room in a limited amount of anxious strides. The mid day sunlight seeping through the cracks in the windows momentarily blinded him in his haste.

"What?"

Ash glanced up at Sam from his homemade laptop, clearly hearing the desperation in the young hunters voice and frowned at the look on Sam's face.

"Had to hack into the FBI for their satellites…"

"The FBI?"

"Yea… easier then it looks actually. Almost like they WANT to leave the backdoor open for the strays."

Sam shook his head at the mullet-sporting hippie-esk individual sitting in front of him.

"Ash… the hotel had a security camera… did you get that?"

"Uh… no… I didn't even look… but I got something better!"

Ash pulled the laptop in front of Sam and hit a button starting a clear as crystal streaming video of the hotel parking lot.

"Watch the corner there…"

Sam leaned in to see the screen better and concentrated on the area Ash was pointing to. Suddenly the tip of a vehicle came into focus. Not a lot of it… but just enough for Sam to release a gasp of recognition without a form ever entering view.

"El Caminooo." Ash announced in a drawl while leaning back in his wooden chair. Triumph was written on his features with a cocky smirk as he watched the screen, missing Sam's face go from shock to pure anger.

"Gordon…"

"Mm hmmm… S'what I figured too."

"That's his car… Orange…"

"El Camino." Ash interrupted. "Admired it the last time he stopped by here bout a year ago. She's pretty sweet."

"Is there anything else?"

"No just the car. You never see anyone."

Sam absorbed Ash's words and pulled a chair over to himself before he collapsed.

"I can't believe it. All this time… I wondered how anyone could have gotten the drop on Dean. It makes sense it was a hunter."

"Gotta tell ya… never liked the guy anyways. Beat me in Ping Pong before and never let me forget it. Cocky bastard."

Sam finally broke from his trance and turned to look at the roadie genius sitting next to him with a 'Who farted' look upon his face.

"Ping Pong?"

"Yea… You know. Ya get the ball into the other guys glass and they have to drink it… didn't you go to college?"

"I guess I missed that class." Sam muttered, standing back up and running a hand through his unruly locks. "Ash can you trace that car somehow? See where he could have taken Dean?"

"Sure I can. Anything to help Dean-o out… good guy right there. Good sense of humor." Ash, who turned back to the monitor, petted his unkempt mullet and grinned.

"Yea…" The tears Sam had been holding back were threatening to overspill at hearing the complement aimed at his brother. Granted it came from Ash, but he was right. Dean was a good guy despite his many faults and now that he knew Gordon had him… he was scared more then ever that rest of the world wouldn't be able to find that out for themselves.

Gordon was no doubt out for revenge… a revenge that Sam deserved more then his big brother did. After all if it weren't for him this probably would have never happened. It was himself that stopped Dean from killing Lenore and her 'Family'. Guilt flushed through him and he tried desperatly to shake it off. Being angry with himself wasn't going to help Dean... and Sam had a feeling Dean needed all the help he could get.

* * *

**_-8 Hours Later-_**

A thick sheen of sweat covered his skin as spine-shaking heaves racked his body. Gordon made it a long torture session, stopping only a few moments to get new "toys" to "test out".

…And Dean was awake for every bit of it.

No darkness consumed him. No comfort arose to save him from the extreme pain that came and went. Sharp bursts of agony lit up all his senses and at it's worst Dean had just wished for it to all end. He'd have rather faced Death again then go through those longs hours of extreme torture.

Only one thought kept him fighting with every breath he took… and that was Sam.

He couldn't leave Sam behind… not alone. They had a grand mission and it would be selfish of him to check out early and leave his little brother to handle the burden on his own. He didn't cheat death twice only to have this be his fate. His fathers sacrifice wasn't going to go to waste… it couldn't.

No… he had to survive this damn it! If only he could just move. He was better then this! He shouldn't have gotten kidnapped in the first freaking place.

But he wasn't prepared for Gordon's secret weapon.

It was a weapon so evil it caused his body to shut down on him… letting him feel everything but do nothing. A needle full of pure evil. He hadn't given it to him since the moment he woke up all those hours ago. It was probably why he was still awake now.

It had been a little while since Gordon left the room, a second person that Dean still couldn't get a well enough look at, following in his wake. And in the last few minutes he could feel his body start to shudder. Whether from cold or shock, he didn't know. But he was damn sure he couldn't do shit about it.

Dean closed his eyes again. It was no use. Movement wasn't going to come to him and now that the adrenaline was seeping out of his body he could feel sleep glaze over his tired eyes.

He might as well try to get some rest… he needed all the energy he could get if he was going to survive the next session.

* * *

Ellen frowned at the sight before her. Sam sat alone in the back corner of the Roadhouse. His only company was his laptop, perched in front of him, guarding him from the other occupants in the room. It was still early in the evening and only a few stragglers and regulars were present, sipping on half empty glasses of their beer of choice but Ellen knew that even if the room were empty Sam would still be secluded in that corner.

"Hey… Rum and Coke?" A customer at the bar interrupted her concern and she threw a smile on for the sake of her business.

"Coming right up Hun." She forced and turned around to prepare the man's drink for him. Once she finished she slide it his way and risked an other glance at that back table.

Ash was good at what he did but under these circumstances he was taking too damn long. It was bad enough she had been keeping this all a secret to her daughter. She told her that the boys had an argument and left it at that though she was sure Jo didn't believe her. But it didn't matter anyways. She didn't press the issue and Ellen knew just the reason why. Her daughter was still sour at the information she gave her about their father. She didn't once speak to Sam since he arrived, hardly even looked at him.

The weathered barmaid frowned deeper at her actions. Those boys had just as much a part in her husband's death as the freaking Pope did… None. But she was angry… no… she was SCARED! The thought of losing her daughter was equally as unacceptable as Sam losing his brother. At the time she couldn't help releasing her emotions but it sure didn't make it right either.

Suddenly, as if someone of a higher power was listening to her thoughts, Ash appeared in the bar and strode over to Sam's table. He handed over a piece of paper to the young hunter and she watched as Sam's eyes widened with what she could only guess was a glint of hope.

Ash found him.

Sam was up and away from the table before Ellen could collect herself enough to start untying her apron. He quickly disappeared out the Roadhouse door into the early evening, walking with a purpose and a cause.

"Jo!" she screamed over the jukebox. "Take care of things and close early!"

"But…" The young blonde started to protest as customers looked up at the frantic middle-aged bartender with confusion written across their faces.

"Ash! Help her!" And before there could be any more objections Ellen was already out the door, following in Sam's footsteps as Ash and Jo looked at each other with annoyance.

Sam had just closed the trunk and was heading for the drivers side of the Impala… gun in hand... when Ellen jogged up to the young man.

"I'm coming with you." She announced in the best 'And don't give me any shit.' Tone she could muster.

Sam didn't say a word but paused, his hand hovering over the handle of the car door. Finally Sam nodded in her direction, selfishly accepting the help, before pulling open the door and sliding in behind the wheel.

A few seconds later, the only evidence that the Impala was ever in the driveway to the Roadhouse was a spray of rocks and a dust cloud following in its wake.

* * *

A voice pulled him out of his restless slumber. Realizing the mistake he made before, Dean laid as still as he could, attempting to wake up enough to listen to the words coming from the mouth of his captor. The conversation was one-sided… he must have been on the phone. It ended fast and Dean only caught "… So he's on his way… good…" before a click resounded through the dimly lit white room. Gordon had hung up.

"I know your awake Dean."

_'Damn it.'_ Dean cracked his heavy eyelids and if he could he'd have openly cursed at Gordon's fuzzy form looming over his face.

"I have to say… I'm disappointed in Sammy, Dean. I figured he'd have figured it out sooner. I've had you for days. I thought you'd have taught him better."

Dean didn't like the close proximity and tried his muscles out again, only getting slight movements.

"On don't waste your strength struggling Dean. Sammy's coming for you. Just relax." Gordon's mouth widened in a sickening feral smile as he brought a vial into view. A small bit of light bounced off the needle tip, catching Dean's full attention. Gordon's hand snaked up, bringing the needle with it.

Dean felt a pinch in his arm before a burning sensation filtered down into his body as the drug started to do its job.

"There now… I gave you a triple dose. You were out two days from the last double dose. Took you forever to heal up. Lets see what 3 times as much does to you."

A thick haze settled over Dean's awareness and his body went completely limp. His eyes started to flutter as a heavy weight rested on his mind. God Damn it he hated being so damn helpless! It was a feeling he would never get use to.

"Remember this?" Gordon asked, wanting Dean to see what he held before he was completely out of it. "It tasted your brother's blood once. Just a few months ago… you remember Dean?"

Dean's glassy eyes focused as best they could on the object in front of him.

Gordon's hunting knife. The same one that bastards used to cut Sam as he tried to prove his point. The same one Dean taunted him with, jabbing it in a table only feet away from a tied up and angry vampire hunter.

"Sure you remember. Did you ever wonder what it felt like as it sliced cleanly through your brother's skin like butter? Must have stung huh?"

Dean could do nothing but listen and watch through foggy eyes. He didn't like where this was going.

"I hope Sammy finds you soon… cause Dean? This is going to be VERY painful."

He couldn't react… he couldn't scream… and Gordon reveled in it as he pulled the large hunting knife back. With one swift moment he brought it down hard, buring it's sharp edge deep into Dean's stomach. The only thing viewable was the hilt.

The pain was blinding and as he felt his consciousness ebb and flow away, the last thing he felt before passing out was a shift jerk. The knife left his body, dripping with his blood.

Gordon pulled out a towel and wiped the blade clean as he motioned for the other person waiting in the wings to come over to the table.

"Now do what you got to do. I don't want him to die… yet. Just make sure he still feels the pain."

Frightened pale hands settled on Dean's chest but the bleeding man never would know it.

Gordon stood watching in complete amusement, hoping with every fiber of his being that the great John Winchester was watching somewhere from beyond. He wanted the whole Winchester family to feel pain... every single one of them. The youngest was on his way and he was ready to give the little bastard his broken brother back. But this wasn't over... not by a longshot. He'd give them a slight pause before the real fun began. Afterall what good is the hunt without the elemant of surprise?


	3. Chapter 3

WOOO! finally! I have been trying alll dayyy to upload this!! Now at 11:08 i finally got the dang thing to upload!

I'm going to make this short and sweet because i feel a Sinus headache coming on... Joy!! But i wanted to get this up before i took some Advil Sinus and went to bed LOL

Everyone.. thank you SOO MUCH for the reviews and the response! Its very humbling! I hope you all didn't feel like you had to wait long... i honestly just wanted to wait till figured their shizzle out.

Now just a small note. Remember in "No Exit" when a family stopped into the Roadhouse during an argument between Jo and Ellen? They had t-shirts that said "Nebraska is for lovers"? well i deduced from that scene that the Roadhouse is in Nebraska. So thats where this all takes place.

Enjoy!

* * *

Sam couldn't talk… he couldn't think. The only thing he could manage to do was drive and follow the directions Ash had given him. Normally in a situation like this… heading into battle… he'd have tons of things on his mind. What weapons did they need? What spells could possibly be used? What was their game plan when they got there?

But this wasn't a normal situation. If it were, Dean would be sitting next to him… not Ellen.

No… This time the situation was FOR Dean and because of that, Sam's mind was of no use to him. Things were moving too fast for him to think straight. On top of being worried and concerned for his brother he now had to deal with the feeling of disappointment. He was a hunter! He was supposed to be able to handle things and think on the spur of the moment! And now when the hunt was for his own flesh and blood, he was useless.

Sam turned onto a deserted dark road and continued on. Apparently Gordon took Dean to an old abandoned Medical Clinic outside of the city. According to Ash the small part of town had been destroyed by a large fire back in the 60's when a plane crashed nearby. Instead of rebuilding the towns, people moved closer towards the city.

The younger Winchester didn't even want to think of why Gordon picked an old abandon clinic… he just hoped Dean was still there and that this rescue attempt wasn't all for nothing. If Gordon took Dean somewhere else from here he was afraid they'd never find him.

The directions on the paper might as well have shouted YOU ARE HERE as a large half burnt sign that once fully read "Falls City Clinic" came into view.

Sam pulled the Impala up to the front doors of the building and paused before shutting off the engine. He glared up at the old structure. One side of the clinic showed fire damage but it was clear the towns' people must have gotten it out before it spread. The rest of the building, accept for age, looked relatively stable.

A shrill ring shook the quiet occupants of the old Chevy and Sam pulled out his cell phone.

"Yea…" Sam answered, still staring at the building in front of him like at any moment it was going to jump off its foundations and come after them. Ash's voice boomed in his ear as he prepared for some sort of attack.

"The purdy El Camino left about ten minutes ago compadre."

Sam sat up… eyes wide and tore his eyes off of the building to catch Ellen's gaze.

"WHAT?"

"Hey man… I had to close up shop… I missed it."

"What Direction?" Panic was evident in Sam's tone. If Gordon had left then he probably knew he was on his way. Now Dean would be gone too!

"Not the one you came from…"

"Great!" Anger filtered through him from head to toe and he shut the phone off on Ash without an other word. How could he have left the satellite video?! This was important! This was Dean! 10 minutes? They'd never catch up even if they knew where!

Sam reached down to turn on the Impala, desperate to start his car chase. But Ellen's hand came to rest on the keys.

"No Sam… We should check here first… just in case." The weathered barmaid made her quiet assumptions from the phone conversation. Gordon had left… but that didn't mean he didn't leave something behind. It was worth a shot.

"But Gordon…"

"I know… Cover all your bases. Lets just make sure."

Sam huffed and pulled his hand from her grasp. He pushed the door open hard with his shoulder, pulling himself and the gun in his hand out of the old creaky car with attitude oozing from his pores.

Gordon was getting away with Dean and this woman wants me to check an abandoned EMPTY building!

The anger was unlike him. It wasn't in Sam's nature to be so cold and cruel especially to someone helping him but right now he was as sensitive as a piece of fine china during an earthquake. All he wanted to do was break the laws of the road to catch up to that bastard and get his brother back. Only the sensible part of him still left kept his feet moving in the direction he was heading in now.

To the building…

It was easy to get the double doors of the main entrance open with a vicious kick. He had no time to test door handles or be stealthy.

The smell hit him first. A burning smell he could only figure still lingered from its worst day back all those years ago. In his angry, anxious haze it didn't occur to him that the smell was too new.

Ellen followed close behind as they rounded corner after corner till finally they came to a hallway with a spec of light reaching underneath a closed door.

Sam inched closer, listening for any sound… any indication that he'd have to be ready to fight. When he felt comfortable that the danger was minimal, he reached a hand over to the doorknob and twisted it slowly. His gun was aimed, waiting for a crack to peek through and the younger Winchester nodded at Ellen to stay where she was.

With one swift kick, Sam sent the door flying open. Tiny pieces of wood sprinkled to the ground indicating just how hard he kicked the weak door.

Ellen watched from the shadows at Sam's now illuminated face. The sight that greeted him inside the doorway made his features crumble and his gun to lower in pure shock.

"Oh God" The words left his mouth before he could stop himself and the gun finally clattered to the floor as he rushed to a surgery table in the middle of the low lit, damp room.

Sam wanted to throw up. His brother was so pale. His arms were wrenched above his head and roughly tied to the top of the table with cords.

_'CORDS!'_ Sam screamed in his mind. The idea of it was just intangible to him.

Dean was shirtless but still had the sweatpants on that he fell asleep in the other night. Sam thanked the heavens above that his brother was able to keep some dignity… no matter how small.

But all the other things didn't concern him as much as the red that shown brightly on Dean's pale skin. A pool of blood settled over his brother's too flat stomach and started to drain down the sides, creating a trickling waterfall of crimson onto the white table he rested on.

Sam couldn't bring himself to touch him. He didn't know where to start… There were scars and bruises and various cuts all over him!

"Jesus Christ... what did he do to you" he whispered while his fingers ghosted over his brothers body, still searching for a safe place to touch. Finally they rushed up to his neck, desperately hoping to find reassurance that he wasn't too late… That he wasn't alone, the last Winchester in the game… That this grand mission they were on was not yet a Solo act.

Sam closed his eyes as he pressed his fingers in… And like the sun breaking through a rainy day Sam exhaled sharply in relief at the feel of a pulse under his fingertips. It was then that Ellen stepped in, grasping Sam's shoulder firmly and rocking him out of his concentration. He was trying to evaluate the beat of his brother's heart. It would surely dictate the time frame they had.

"We have to get him out of here." She whispered sternly. Her eyes darted back to the door making sure they didn't have any unwanted visitors.

"Uh… yea…" Sam replied as he desperately tried to regain his composure. Dean needed him now… he needed him to function and breaking down into a sobbing heap wasn't allowed.

Ellen set to the task of cutting away the cords that wrapped around his brothers wrists, and at the look of the cut and bleeding flesh entangled in the cords Sam was happy Dean wasn't conscious. Shrugging his flannel shirt off his shoulders, he set to work on ripping pieces off to bound and stop the bleeding on Dean's wrists. Ellen knew the drill and as she got the last bit of cord pulled gently from the marred skin, she reached out and took the pieces from Sam, wrapping the hunter's bloody wrists.

Once they had enough pieces ripped, Sam made use of the rest of his shirt and ripped it in half. He couldn't see how bad the wound on Dean's abdomen really was. It was still gushing though, that much he knew. With one half of the shirt, Sam placed the fabric over the puddle of leaking blood. He shivered involuntarily as his fingers felt the warm liquid. The precious substance scared him. It should still be inside his brother! Anger flashed before his eyes but he held it within as he worked on wiping the blood away.

Finally Sam could see the reason for the loss… a deep stab… a knife wound…

"That fucking Gordon!" Sam seethed, unable to hold in the fury in him any longer. "That bastard used his God damn hunting knife on him!"

Ellen watched Sam's emotions go from freight, to intense worry and now to Anger. She was now more then sure she made the right decision coming along. It would have been inhuman to let this poor boy handle all of this on his own. The person lying on the table in front of her was all that boy had left in the world and Ellen would be DAMNED if anyone else lost someone so important to them on her watch.

"Sam honey…" she urged. They really had to get Dean out of here just incase that bastard showed back up again. In Sam's state he'd be no match for Gordon and Ellen was no fighter. She was use to picking up after the hunters in her life in more ways then one but going up against one was never in the cards.

Sam grimaced at the action he was about to make. Using the other half of the shirt in his hand, Sam covered the stab wound and used all his courage to reach over and push his hand down on his brother's body in an attempt to stop the blood flow.

The reaction from his brother was unexpected and tears welled in his eyes as his Dean's body tensed. A muffled groan flew from Dean's mouth but his eyes never opened.

"Dean? Hey man it's me… Can you hear me?"

Dean's eyes were squeezed shut in pain. His teeth were clenched and his body was still tightly tensed. No answer came to Sam and when he opened his mouth to try again Ellen interjected.

"Sam… look at his arm."

Ellen was in the process of slowly returning Dean's arms to his sides, knowing the action would bring soreness and pain to the young hunter after the long time frame they were pulled above his head. While doing so her eyes landed on the marks in the crook for Dean's elbow. Needle Marks… unmistakable.

"No…" If one could actually see red, Ellen knew Sam was seeing it.

They had drugged him… That's why he couldn't wake up! That's why he could even tolerate the small bit of handling the two were doing right then. Ellen was right. They needed to go… cause as soon as the drugs started to wear off, Dean was going to be in massive amounts of pain. Moving him around would be even more difficult.

"We need a blanket to wrap him in. There's one in the trunk…"

"I'm on it…" and Ellen was out the door in a flash, Sam's gun in her hand just in case.

Sam closed his eyes and shook his head in defeat. He had found Dean but why did something in him scream at him that Gordon still won?

With a deep breath he reopened them, more ready to accept the sight lying before him. Sam still kept his hand firmly on Dean's stomach and with the other one he reached out to gently lay his hand on his brothers forehead. Dean was cool to the touch. A good sign that infection hadn't set in yet, but the coolness didn't comfort Sam. Dean was cold… way too cold.

Ellen was quick and returned in an instant with a large blanket in her hands. Sam took it from her and flung it out, draping it over his brother's body.

"We'll have to worry about that knife wound when we get him to a safe place. I think its more important we get him warm. It looks like it's stopping anyways…"

Ellen nodded and watched as Sam wasted no time scooping his brother in his arms. It was a little awkward looking to see someone of Dean's size being cradled but Sam didn't waver and they headed out the old clinic door.

"He's going to be fine Sam." But Ellen's confidence didn't reach her words. Sam nodded in acknowledgement anyways.

"I'm just glad we found him." He replied, sounding like a little boy in grownups clothing.

"Me too…" she replied and ran in front of the brothers to get the doors opened in front of them.

They were almost to the Impala when Dean's mouth opened up in a silent cry as he tensed up again in Sam's arms, almost causing the younger brother to drop is bundle in surprise.

"Dean??? Dean what's wrong?!" What did he do! Oh god the pain on his brother's face only made him struggle faster to get him into the Impala and away from this place as fast as he could… But just as he got to the car doors, Dean shocked him again. His body started to shake in Sam's arms… Deep vicious violent tremors.

"Is he seizing?!" Ellen asked as she slid in the back of the old Chevy and helped guide Dean's shaking body back there with her.

"I don't know… I don't know… Oh god… could it be from the drugs?"

"Maybe…" Ellen pulled Dean close to her, wrapping the blanket around his body tighter. Once his head was lying on her lap she reached down and pulled back his eyelids. Only whites greeted her and she bit her lip to keep her emotions at bay. It didn't seem like a seizure… Sam was probably right. The Drugs... whatever the hell they were. Once she was sure there was no chance he'd be swallowing his tongue, Ellen nodded towards Sam to get moving and worked on making Dean more comfortable. She twisted his body slowly so he was on his side, his head facing the passenger side back seat and she watched as Dean's form took on a protective fetal ball. His bandaged hands and wrists were now snaked around the blanket, working hard in his haze to crawl deeper into the cotton fabric.

"We're getting out of here Dean… we've got you now, don't worry." Sam announced in the front seat as he twisted the key in the ignition and wasted no time flinging it in gear, spraying rocks with the back tires as he gunned the old engine into action.

Sam couldn't help the tear that ran down his cheek at the sounds of his brother's gurgling from the back seat. Dean was broken… beaten and broken and it was all Sam's fault. NO! It was "HIS'" fault! Wasn't it?

They were ten minutes into the ride before Sam risked a glance in the rearview mirror. Ellen had Dean's head on her lap, brushing his soaked hair away from his face gently in her maternal way while Dean shook violently in her arms. She showed no hint that it bothered her though and every once in a while she'd fix the blankets around Dean trying desperately to keep him warm. But climate was not why Dean was shivering. That bastard drugged him… drugged him bad! Left him for dead tied to a goddamn table! He was a mess. The cut down his stomach… his wrists. But what about the other places? The healed burn spots that weren't present on his brother's skin before… How did they heal so fast? What the HELL was going on?

"We can't bring him to a hospital." Sam said flicking his eyes back again to the mirror. Ellen never looked up but nodded in understanding. That was a hunters way… no hospitals. She understood. "We'll have to bring him back to the motel."

"Screw that… go back to the Roadhouse."

"Ellen? Are you sure?"

"Damn straight I'm sure. We'll take care of him there. He'll be safe… we'll be safe."

Sam didn't know about bringing Dean to the Roadhouse. After all… If the other hunters got word he was there and Gordon asked the right questions this would put Ellen and Jo in some serious danger. But Sam needed help with Dean. Already just looking at him he knew he couldn't fix this on his own. He'd need someone to watch over his brother while he went out to put a hurtin' on that vampire hunter.

"Roadhouse it is."


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone!!!! Here I Am! No.. i didn't forget.. i didn't have writers block and i didn't give up on this. Chalk this lateness up to the holidays. I've been running around ragged and the time i have devote to the computer lately seems to be late nights at the expensive of extra sleeping time.

Trust me.. trying to get things perfect in a chapter can NOT be done at 2 in the morning LOL

I expect to have an other chapter up before christmas but if I don't get a chance (I have parties this week.. going into the City to see the Tree tomorrow... everyone should go to NYC to see the tree every christmas.. i've been making a habit of it since 01' and i'm keeping it! LOL Wednesday is last minute shopping and Thursday is cookie day! Movie day on friday.. i still haven't seen Eragon lol... so...) Merry Christmas ahead of time!

I cant give an idea of chapters i expect this done by. I CAN say i want it done before the new episodes start! So thats my goal!

Ok guys.. enjoy! Nothing much going on in this chapter but it had to be done.

* * *

Dawn was on the horizon when the tired and almost gasless Impala sizzled up to the Roadhouse doors. East was evident as the sky in that direction started to brighten, turning pitch black into hazy grays. Sam was grateful for the smidge of light. In horror movies sunrise always indicated the end to it all. The monsters were all killed, the ghosts were at bay and the vampires were shut in. But in all honesty, Sam knew that this was real life. This wasn't a fictional scary movie complete with cheesy actors and creepy music. The current soundtrack to his life was the sound of his brother's ragged breathing in the back seat.

Dawn couldn't end this living horror…

"Drive around back." Ellen half whispered. Dean had stopped fussing 20 minutes before they arrived. Only violent shaking and harsh intakes of breath remained and the Roadhouse owner wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Ok..." With a swing of the wheel Sam gunned the engine some more and stopped at a back door. Jumping out of the car without shutting the door or the engine, he ran to the passenger side back door and pulled it open in haste.

"Here, open the door…" She motioned towards the old metal barrier behind him with a nod of her head and tossed a set of keys in his direction.

"K" Sam wasted no time jamming the key in the lock and threw it open, immediately recognizing the back hallway of the establishment. When he turned back to the Impala, Ellen was already working on getting a good hold on Dean to get him out of the car.

"I'll help you... You get his arms."

Sam hesitated at the suggestion. "Are you sure? Should I get Ash?"

"Ash? Boy, are you kidding? Grab his arms." She ordered, not ready to have a conversation about gender stereotypes at the moment.

"Yes Ma'am." Sam choked back a whimper as he reached into the Impala and ran his arms underneath his brother's shoulders. Dean was lying on his side, still shaking. Foam mixed with blood dripped down his chin from the convulsing and Sam just knew it had to be due to the drugs. It took all Sam had to not look away and now he worried deeply at the damage the knife wound was doing to Dean at the sight of the blood.

Dean jumped at Sam's touch and the emotional pain from the action coursed through the younger hunter as he gently started to pull at his brother, his arms under Dean's armpits.

Ellen slid out of the other side of the Impala and ran over to help gently ease Dean from the back of the car. It took some slow movements and gentle words to keep Dean from silently crying out in pain but finally they had him in the best grip they could manage, each with an arm draped over their shoulders and started to the back door. Sam had to crouch to meet the woman's height but right now he didn't care if he had to carry Dean in his teeth... he'd do it.

"JO!" Ellen yelled while kicking a door with her foot as the pair shuffled down the hallway… "Get out here now!"

Sam and Ellen were halfway down the hall as a door opened, revealing a still sleepy Jo.

"Mom what's going…." But her words froze in her mouth at seeing Dean being carried by Sam and her mother. Instant worry and guilt hit her hard. "Oh my god what happened!" Concern laced her words as she ran over to see if she could help, suddenly scared at even laying a hand on Dean for fear of hurting him more. She had already hurt him enough as it was.

"Get the door honey!" Jo jumped into action and twisted the knob on the door her mother nodded to. Sam and Ellen got Dean inside and laid him down on a small twin bed they found inside. Sam recognized this room from the other night when Ellen pulled him back away from the bar occupants. Ellen produced an other blanket and engulfed Dean in it, tucking him in.

"Dean?" Jo squeaked from behind them as she caught sight of his bloody makeshift bandages around his wrists. She didn't even want to think of why he was convulsing so badly or why blood and spit still ran down his chin with every harsh breath he exhaled. His eyes were firmly shut and Jo knew right away Dean didn't know what was going on. He was lost… and it was for the better.

Blood started to ooze through the blanket wrapped around the hunters' torso and her shock kept her eyes on the growing wetness till her mother grabbed her by the arms and shook her out of it.

"Jo, go get some bandages and some warm water. The first aid kit is under the bar and get more blankets." … "Now!" She added when Jo's movements were too slow.

The middle aged woman watched her daughter run out of the room before turning back to the shaking form on the bed. Sam was sitting on the edge in the process of peeling the blankets from Dean to get to the knife wound.

"It looked really bad back at the clinic." His voice was void of life. "But it looked like the bleeding was slowing down." Only extreme worry coated his words and Ellen closed her eyes a brief moment to take it all in. Sam was already acting like he was too late. They got Dean back and safe to the Roadhouse but the youngest Winchester sounded like he was all out of hope.

"We did jostle him quite a bit. Lets just get a look at it."

"This was a mistake… I should have brought him to the hospital." Ellen watched as tears started to form in the corners of his eyes as he stared down at his brother. Dean was still breathing hard, sending more and more reddish pink foam sliding down his chin. The shaking didn't seem as bad as in the car but Ellen had felt every last shudder with Dean half on her lap. Now that he wasn't, her measurement was off on the degree. Sam reached a hand over and gently wiped around Dean's mouth without hesitation, ridding his brother's face of the scary mess.

"This was all too easy Sam…" The words left her mouth before she could think and the reaction she received was well deserved.

"Easy…? EASY? Do you see him right now? Are you kidding me?!" Sam's gentle tone rose instantly to an enraged yell as he pointed down to his brother. His tired, red, wet eyes burned into her own with a fury she didn't think the younger Winchester possessed.

"I'm sorry… That's not what I meant."

"I sure as hell hope not!" Sam broke the heated eye contact he had with the barmaid and Ellen let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Sam had actually scared her.

"Look… Gordon left Dean there for you to find. He gave him back…"

"Is that what you think? Then I suppose I should go thank him then huh?"

"No! Sam, stop damn it! I'm not your enemy. Hear me out here and listen for a second. You came here for help didn't you? Well I'm in this young man… in it to the end. So we need to work this out together cause right now we're all Dean has."

Sam shut his eyes and lowered his head. He was acting like an ass. She was right and that fact alone bit at him. He wasn't use to Dean being so helpless or being the one to make the tough decisions all alone. Ellen's help was greatly appreciated… he just didn't want to admit it just yet.

"Fine… What were you going to say?"

"I know you are upset. I know… but try to look at this rationally. Gordon left Dean for you to find. He didn't fight and didn't drag Dean off with him. He didn't kill him either…"

"He couldn't drag Dean along because he left him for dead Ellen! He stabbed him in the god damn stomach!"

"Tell me what you know about stomach injuries Sam."

"What I know…? That my brother has one!"

"…I'm going to have to spell it out aren't I? Sam, the stomach isn't as vital as his chest. Getting shot or stabbed in the stomach is the slowest way to die. If he wanted Dean dead I'm sure he would have picked an other target. Gordon is good… he wouldn't have missed what he aimed for."

"Slowest…. And most painful…" Sam added as his eyes jumped to the doorway. Jo came barreling in with a handful of stuff clutched to her tightly.

"Yea… That too…" Ellen responded quickly, ending the current conversation with the younger Winchester.

Jo dropped the supplies onto the floor beside the bed. "Ok what do we do?" her voice was one of panic and Ellen placed a comforting hand on her daughters shoulder. Jo's eyes didn't leave her mothers face. Fear laced her expression and it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that the young girl didn't have it in her to look at Dean again.

"Nothing… go back to sleep."

"What?" The confused expression on Jo's face mirrored the one Sam was now wearing. That wasn't what either of them expected to hear.

"We'll take care of Dean sweetie… go back to bed."

"But I cant…" Her voice was small and scared and Ellen griped her shoulder a bit tighter before letting go and ushering the young girl to the doorway of the small room.

"Its ok… Go…"

"But…"

Ellen closed the door behind Jo and locked it, shutting off her daughter's eyes and involvement. This brought a sparkle back to Sam's face at the slight hint of amusement.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because she doesn't need to see any more."

"Oh…" Sam replied. He didn't push the issue and watched quietly as Ellen kneeled down along side the bed and ruffled through the extensive first aid kit. Ellen however continued anyways, keeping the silent uneasiness at bay. "Ya know... at first I thought she just had some little girl crush on him. But then I came to realize that she idolized him. All the things she's heard about you boys over the years boosted Dean into this untouchable larger than life epitome of a hunter. Its what she wanted to be… She wanted to hunt to feel closer to her father and Dean was an avenue to do that… maybe be her teacher."

"There is no such thing…" Sam added as she paused. "No one is the epitome of a hunter. No one is perfect. This job doesn't allow perfection. Its kill or be killed… that's not at all perfect."

"I agree Sam… and I've mentioned to her before that the job is a hard one. That no one is unbeatable… She didn't listen. But when I told her about your father… well… it shattered her image of him and left a hole for her I guess. She's been mopping around here like a homeless puppy and I really would hate to put her through watching any more of her Idol at his worst moments."

Ellen pulled back the soaked gauze covering the stab wound and preceded to clean the area, prepping it to be stitched up.

"I have to be honest…" Sam interjected. "It didn't bother me that you guys kinda pushed us away. I've work on not becoming close to the people around me. They don't stay long. But Dean… he was bothered by Jo's words that day. More then I thought he'd be. I debated on even coming here for that reason. I didn't want him to have to deal with that drama."

"I'm sorry Sam. I was angry and I shouldn't have taken it out on him… but he's so much like your father…"

"Actually… I'm more like dad." Sam interrupted with a soft smile. He never really admitted it before but it was true. "Dean may look the part but… my dad didn't have a heart like Dean does."

Ellen smiled warmly at the young man's interpretation of his sibling.

"Sam I wouldn't say you were more like your dad. You have the same heart Dean has… and I don't think your father had anything to do with that." Sam still gazed down at Dean's shaky form but for just one moment the Roadhouse barmaid caught a grateful grin grace the hunters lips.

No other words were spoken and Ellen worked on Dean for a good hour as Sam watched her every move. Her hands expertly sewed up the knife wound and to Sam's relief the bleeding had stopped. His brothers' breathing was now a lot calmer and even though he still shook like a leaf, his color even looked better. Sam relented for now on calling for an ambulance. With hospitals came questions and the lack of protection he could give his brother. He didn't want to go that route if he didn't have to.

Before Ellen left the two brothers alone for the night she slipped an IV into Dean's arm. Sam didn't much care to ask at the moment where she had gotten these supplies from but was thankful at least that they were there.

"We'll get a shirt on him tomorrow sometime. For now lets keep that wound uncovered so it's easier to get to."

"Yea…"

"You should get some sleep Sam… you haven't slept in a long time. Dean is fine for now. I'll check on him throughout the day. Get some sleep… I'll bring a spare cot in."

"Thanks Ellen…" accepting the idea though he didn't figure he'd be getting much sleep… Not with Gordon out there still… Not with the questions still echoing in his head and certainly not with Dean in the shape he was in. No… Sleep would not be coming.

Ellen stood up and gave Sam a gentle smile before leaving the two brothers alone. She was quite aware that Sam wouldn't heed her suggestion but at least he'd be resting. There would be no way Sam would let his eyes flutter anytime soon. Not until he felt Dean was safe from any harm. The bond between the two Winchester Brothers was a solid one and she was amazed at the strength of its hold.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey all! I hope everyones holidays were splendid. This took me a while cause... well life has been hectic! I had today off and tinkered with it for most of it. There was a part i just couldn't get the way i wanted it. Re-wroted it a couple times... so hopefully this chapter flows for you guys!

Also i'm sorry i didn't respond to everyone that reviewed! I honestly and truely appreciate ALL of them! Thank you soo much! Things just got so crazy that week before Christmas and by the time i had any downtime i figured... eh.. the moments gone lol So i apologize! I will this time though for sure!

Ok... enjoy!

* * *

The Roadhouse was quiet. Its normal use was abandoned. No loud music echoed from its wooden walls and the doors were latched shut. Ellen closed the doors to the establishment for the night. It was the first time in years. Money was tight around there lately and the once in a lifetime closure was going to mean things would be tighter. But the old bar maid didn't care at the moment. Making sure that its occupants got a fair chance at rest and recovery however… was her main concern.

Ellen found Sam perched on the end of his brother's bed. His back leaned against the wall and his long legs sprawled off to the side, careful not to disturb his sleeping siblings position. She didn't catch the title of the book he had his nose stuck in before he pulled it away at her entrance.

Ellen smiled warmly and made her way over to Dean. Sam watched on as the middle-aged woman rested a hand gently on his brother's forehead. The motherly way she fussed with Dean was an alien thing to witness. Sam didn't remember the feel of a mother's touch nor the care of a motherly figure. Dean did however, and Sam hoped it helped… even just a little bit.

"Still sleeping huh?"

Sam nodded with a sad smile.

"Sam can I get you anything? I can make you a sandwich? Or…"

"No…" Sam interjected. "Its ok... I can get it myself. I don't want to be a bother."

"It's no bother. You are my guest and I take care of my guests." Ellen's rough and tumble tone was back and with her hands placed firmly on her hips she gave off the intimidating presence that was just enough to crack the weary Winchester.

"Ok… fine... Thank You."

"No problem kid. I'll be right back."

Sam waited for her retreat before sighing openly, closing his eyes and resting his head against the cold wall behind him. He was taught at a very young age how to fend for himself. The only other person that really took care of him was Dean. The situation he was in right now was confusing and all he wanted was to see his brother wake up and look at him. Sam needed reassurance that he wasn't alone in all of this. He really needed to know that the decisions he'd made so far on his own were the right ones.

He needed Dean's approval.

If the tides were turned… would he be in a hospital right now?

Sam pulled himself from the end of the bed and set the book he was leafing through aside. Dean would stop shaking off and on and right now his brother was lying still on the bed. He hated having to do what he was about to but he needed to wake Dean up. The IV's Ellen had handy were draining quickly. He had needed it obviously. Gordon surely didn't make an attempt to provide nourishment to his prisoner.

Sam shivered at the thought and carefully seated himself next to his brother. Dean hadn't shown any signs of waking all day long. Sam's emotions would come in waves. One minute he was comforted at the rest his brother so sorely must have needed, especially with his injuries. But on the other hand Dean's lack of consciousness could mean something more wrong then what was laying on the surface.

Sam ran a hand over his tired sleepless eyelids and gave another rough sigh.

"I'm sorry Dean… I should have brought you to the hospital. This is insane." He whispered quietly. The younger brother gently ran a hand through the messy locks of his unconscious big brother. Body heat radiated from Dean and Sam felt it on his fingertips. A grimace covered his features and he shifted his motions to Dean's forehead to feel for fever. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd checked in the past 12 hours. Hell it wouldn't be the last either. But thankfully Dean's temperature was still normal. Relief flooded Sammy every time he checked. No fever meant no infection and with the extent of Dean's injuries and lack of sufficient care, he couldn't help but to check frequently.

"Dean? Hey big brother… I need you to open your eyes…"

Sam got conformation that his words were heard. Dean's eyelids fluttered lazily, batting at the haze. The young Winchester's excitement went haywire at the ease it took for just that little bit of a reaction. Stopping now was not in the cards.

"That's it… come on…" he coaxed. Adrenaline laced his voice and an excited smile that reached his eyes crept onto his face.

Dean fought with all he could muster in him to wake up. He could hear Sammy's voice and felt his little brother's touch but something held him back. Like a steel wall cutting off reality with darkness.

"Dean?"

Sam watched with anticipation as a glint of glazed hazel peeked out from under heavy slits.

_Sammy…?_

"Hey you…" Sam's face lit up even more. The wattage alone would have been enough to light a large town. "Gotta stop sleeping on the job big brother." He really didn't have it in him to joke on the situation but knew that it was Dean's defense mechanism. He'd try to lighten it any way he could. Besides… seeing Dean's eyes looking back at him right then caused a swirl of emotions that he had been trying so desperately to control these past few days. He tired to ignore the sting at his eyes.

_Sammy… _

Sam watched as Dean exhaled slowly and let his barely opened eyes close back up again, shutting out the world once more. But Sam continued to smile thankfully… interpreting Dean's reaction. He knew he was safe… that they were together again.

Now they both could rest peacefully.

* * *

Ellen knocked softly on the door to the small bedroom. When no answer greeted her she pushed slowly at the unlatched barrier and stepped silently in, peering curiously behind the door to the bed.

It was a sight that would etch in her mind forever. The Winchester brothers, the youngest clutching the oldest's shaking hand as he slept. Desperate to keep a connection present. Each brother possessing that little thing that kept them solid… kept them whole. One without the other was half alive.

Ellen set the plate holding the sandwich quietly down onto the oak dresser just inside the room and made her way over to the sleeping boys. Sam hadn't slept in days and she would be damned if she begrudged him of just a tiny bit of it even if it were to try and coax him to a more comfortable sleeping arrangement.

She pulled a blanket off of the cot next to Dean's bed and gently spread it over the youngest Winchester's exposed shoulder. The rest of his body seemed to meld into the side of the bed while his head rested along side the hand he clutched. Ellen reached over and pulled up Dean's blankets as much as she could dare. It was rough watching him shiver so. His skin was warm to the touch... it couldn't be a cold shiver. It's waves and bouts were constant. She only hoped it would pass quickly.

Sam awoke to a sharp pain in his neck. A groan left his lips before he could suppress it and he slowly pulled his bones back into the shape they were suppose to be in. The room was dark, signaling the coming of night yet all was silent. The Roadhouse was as quiet as a mouse and at that though Sam peered around at where he was resting…. The floor.

With a few racks and creeks, he pulled himself up from the floor, using the bed his brother was lying on for stability, careful not to jostle anything too much.

Dean's Iv bag was relatively full signaling that Ellen had arrived sometime in the time frame he was asleep.

Dean still shook. The tremors were light but Sam could feel them plain as day.

He had to get Dean more awake. As much as he didn't want to hurt his big brother or take him away from his restful slumber he needed to rebandage his arms and check the stitches. There were no other options. Besides which… Dean had been with Sam for 24 hours now… he was sure with all the IV bags he went through that there had to be some needs that his big brother had to take care of. Sam flicked on the table lamp, thankful that its illumination wasn't too sharp.

"Dean? Hey I need you to open your eyes again…" Sam got no reaction... not like before. So he tried again with a bit more force. "Dean... come on. Gotta get up…."

Dean's eyes fluttered groggily once more and opened again slowly. This time they were wider then before and Sam could tell right away his big brother was more lucid this time around.

_Sam…?_

Sam smiled at his big brother and leaned in close, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. He could feel the slight shudders emanating from his brother's weak body through the connection. Sam would be damned to show signs that it bothered him. Not in front of Dean. Not now.

"Come on Lazy ass. We gotta get you up… Think you can try it?"

Dean just stared up at his little brother's lanky form. His eyes were still slightly glazed but a lot more alert then before. Actually, much more alert.

_Did you just call me a lazy ass?_

"Yea I called you a lazy ass... now lets go... lets try it."

_Ok weird…_Dean said in his head at Sam's response to his unheard question. If he weren't still lying in a fog he might have found it curious and if he could actually comment he'd probably say something like... "You're a freak" But for now he could only chalk it up to simply being close to his brother.

"Dean… we should try and get you up… do you have to go to the bathroom?"

_Hmm… do I? I can't tell…Suppose that would be important._

"I bet you do… And I know you don't want me getting Ellen in here to help…"

_Ellen? Why is Ellen here?_

"I'd never let you hear the end of it… So come on…" Sam held out a hand towards his big brothers bandaged ones but stopped himself before he grabbed a hold, afraid of hurting him just the slightest.

_I don't know what you're smokin' Sammy… but I'm not getting up anytime soon._

"Its important that we try Dean. I know its gonna hurt but…" Sam paused his words and looked away. He didn't exactly want to tell Dean that he selfishly wanted him to get up and move around just to satisfy his anxiety. He still wasn't sure on his decision to not bring him into an ER and success in at least getting Dean sitting up would ease him just a tiny bit for now. "… Lets just give it a shot."

Dean blinked up at him, helpless to convey why he couldn't move yet to his younger sibling. All he could do was wait and let Sam figure out on his own that it just wasn't going to happen tonight. He did feel different though. The pressure on his tired limbs had eased somewhat and if he really concentrated hard enough he would gladly wiggle a toe for Sam. But standing just wasn't in the cards. He could still feel a dull ache in the pit of his stomach and even his back but the immense pain had faded. He was out of the woods now… if only he could alert his brother to that fact.

It wasn't hard to read the younger hunters features and he could tell right away Sam was trying his hardest to hold it together. Sam could never play poker with his big brother. Dean had the "Sam Winchester Facial Expressions Dictionary"

"Alright… here we go." Dean was broken from his thoughts… the only thing he had control over at the moment… as Sam leaned down and slid a long arm between Dean's shoulders and the pillow. The younger brother tried to be as gentle as possible and slowly started to bring his big brothers torso to a sitting position in small degrees.

"How are you doing Dean?" Sam hoped at least he'd get a nod of the head but Dean did nothing but lean into Sam, almost dead weight. Sam got him about 3 feet off the pillow when Dean's eyes started to go wide.

_Sammy! Please stop… Stop!_

Sam didn't notice the panic in his brother's eyes as he concentrated on the effort of lifting Dean's upper body off of the bed gently.

A sharp pain flashed up Dean's spine and he shut his eyes tight.

_Ah Shit! Sam God Damn it! STOP! _He screamed in his head in desperation but to no avail. With every new Degree of lift the pain up his back got more immense… and he was helpless to stop it.

"Almost there." Sam announced turning his attention to Dean's stomach to make sure the position wasn't pulling too much at the stitches in his bothers abdomen.

Blinding white-hot pain flashed in front of Dean's clenched eyelids as the pain reached its peak. Dean felt the feeling of unconsciousness ebb at him when suddenly he felt a painful hiss echo in his throbbing ears. It didn't register right away that it came from himself as suddenly he felt himself being lowered, swift but gentle, back to the pillows.

"Dean?! Oh Jesus! Are you ok? I didn't mean to hurt you! Is it your stomach? Ok… Ok… no more. I'm sorry…"

Dean's breathing was slightly ragged but he felt himself recovering fast from the tear producing pain he had just seconds before. It didn't take him long to reopen his eyes blearily to look at his near tears little brother.

_Damn it Sam…Its not your fault._

"We'll do it on your terms big brother." Sam patted Dean's arm apologetically and turned ashamed towards the bedroom door in search of Ellen. Dean needed something for the pain and right then he couldn't be in his big brothers presence. Not after knowing he had hurt his brother more out of his own selfishness.

* * *

"You're gonna come in handy kid… I don't have to worry about getting hurt on a hunt with you around." He announced in a jolly victorious sort of tone. "And once I get rid of those Winchesters once and for all I can get back to ridding this earth of the filth."

A young teenager sat quietly, listening to everything the man sitting across from him boasted about. Shaggy messy sandy blonde hair fell into the young boys eyes as he tried concentrating on his bowl of soggy Corn Pops. The man didn't feed him much and the bowl of cereal would probably be his only meal for the day.

"Now you are sure you did it just enough… Cause if I find out that bastard croaked on me before I could enjoy more fun with him and his freak brother then you and I will have to have a little chat." The growling man put emphasis on the word "chat" and the 13 year old winced when the hunter popped open a pocket knife for effect.

"Yes sir…" he answered in a low squeak. "I made sure."

"Good. Now I figure they are at some crumby motel room somewhere. The younger brother isn't an idiot… He'd have driven far enough away from danger. Which means nothing around where we left the older one."

"Mm..maybe… he took him to the hospital." The boy added, trying to at least join the conversation. It was better then being yelled at or having his life threatened.

"Hell no… Like I said… Sam's smart. There is no way they'd hit an ER. He couldn't protect his brother there." Gordon put the pocketknife he was fiddling with down onto the table and stood up to pace the room in thought. "No… he's doing this by himself."

Gordon made his way over to a grimy kitchen counter and picked up a jar of clear liquid, turning the glass over in his hands. His evil eyes twinkled as he watched the fluid slosh against the sides. "I gave that little bastard enough of this to put him out for 3 days. Then I figure it'll take him months to get over the effects. Dean is a stubborn bastard though." Putting the jar back down onto the counter, the vampire hunter leaned against it crossing his arms. "Doesn't matter anyways. He'll be dead before next week. Along with his 'Special' brother."

The boy winced again at the word that described him as well. "Oh don't worry kid… You'll be fine as long as you cooperate."

"Yes Sir." The boy repeated before scooping an other soggy mouthful of cereal and shoving it in his mouth.

"Besides… this isn't all about that freak. Dean Winchester has to pay for humiliating me like he did. That son of a bitch didn't get nearly enough of what he deserved when I had him tied up. He'll take the physical pain. It's his brother that is his weakness. And now that he's useless he can watch me take care of his brother and not be able to do a goddamn thing about it."

The pre-teen tried to ignore the hateful things the man was saying and finished up his cereal, complete with sucking down the leftover milk in the bowl. Once he liked his lips and whipped his chin slowly with his shirtsleeve, he pushed the bowl to the corner of the table.

"Thank you." His voice was hardly above a whisper but Gordon heard it anyways and grinned madly at the hold he had on the kid.

"There… See. Aren't you glad I took you from that orphanage? I doubt anyone there let you have Corn Pops. Lot better then that bran shit ain't it?"

"Yes Sir."

"I mean… What could you miss from that place! I'm showing you the world." Gordon reached over and picked up the empty bowl to put in the sink.

"My friends…" The boy had blurted out.

"What was that?" Gordon had stopped in his tracks and turned back to the boy sitting in the wooden chair.

"I miss my friends sir."

"Friends… what the hell are they for anyways. Its no use getting attached to things like that kid. People disappoint you."

Suddenly it hit him and Gordon dropped the bowl in the sink with a clatter before spinning around and storming out of the dimly lit kitchen. All the while mumbling something about a roadhouse…

The young teen sat up straight and looked around the room tensely. He wanted to leave… he'd rather be anywhere but here with the mean man. He had watched him torture that other man for days. It was enough to make his stomach churn and tears burn his eyes at the sight. At least he was comforted in knowing he was actually helping the man instead of hurting him.

He wanted to run far away and never look back! But he was afraid Gordon would find him and hurt him.

He was scared… and he was trapped.


	6. Chapter 6

I understand that is behind again... So i wasn't expecting much.. i still haven't gotten the review e-mails yet but i'll respond to them as soon as i get them!

I know its shocking that i'm posting the day after! Pick your jaws up people before ya trip on them lol

I'm planning on getting up the next chapter tomorrow too. I wanted this done before "Hunted" but... thats not gonna happen.. so at least i can get some more up before hand!

Slowly Dean's comin back to us! I hope you are all liking it so far!

* * *

Sam's eyes snapped open. A noise and a vibration had startled him awake from a deep sleep and he groaned at the interruption to his much needed rest.

'Damn trucks…' he thought to himself. He brought up a groggy hand and rubbed at his sore eyelids. The Roadhouse was conveniently nestled on the side of a truck route, hence the general clientele other then hunters that vacated the bar every night. Normally when the bar was open for business you could hear them rumbling by. You could still feel them though as they rumbled past in the dead of night. How Ellen and Jo could sleep through that he had no clue. Ash he could understand. The man probably didn't notice them… even on a sober night.

But he could live with them… and he had to. It was Dean he was more worried about. He didn't want to see his injured brother kept awake or in discomfort by anything. Least of all Semi's driving by in the night. They had enough of Tractor Trailers to last them a lifetime.

Ah hell… who was he kidding? Dean could sleep through a Macy's Day Parade marching along side his bed.

Sam smiled at that mini jab at his brother and lifted his head off of his pillow to peek over at him.

But he wasn't there…

Sam sat up fast, flinging his legs off the side of the cot… Dean's bed was empty! Completely empty! Worry laced his actions as he flung open the door and scurried into the still dark Roadhouse bar area.

His searching for his older brother didn't last as his eyes landed on the glow of a laptop in the corner of the room where Sam had last left it.

Dean was sitting with his feet on the rung of a chair he had pulled closer to him. He was wrapped firmly with a big wool blanket. The only thing sticking out was a hand running over the keyboard mouse pad and part of his head. Messy brown/blond wisps stuck up off his head and Sam could clearly see Dean's face from the glow of the monitor.

Sam exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. His worry faded and he started to walk over slowly, taking in his brother's expression.

Dean's eyes were tired and sad. They never looked at Sam as he approached. They stayed fixated on the screen in an eerie sort of way and Sam involuntarily shivered at the emptiness he seemed to carry.

"Dean?" Sam kept his voice low and soft. He had no idea what condition his brother was in yet. He was still in a bit of shock that Dean had moved at all after the episode just hours before. He supposed whatever Pain meds Ellen had stashed where some pretty good shit. Sam hadn't stuck around to even ask. After alerting the old barmaid of the need for meds Sam had sought seclusion and time to himself in the same spot Dean now resided in.

Sam received no answer and Dean's eyes still were dedicated to the screen in front of him. The younger brother continued his walk over to his brother slowly and stopped alongside the extra chair Dean was using as a footstool.

"Hey..."

Nothing… It was an understatement that Sam was saddened by Dean's lack of communication.

"Dean? Are you ok?"

Sam still didn't receive an answer and finally risked his next course of action… touch. With a gentle slow hand Sam reached over and placed it on his brothers blanket covered shoulder. When Dean still made no reaction to the movement Sam threw gentle out the window and pushed the laptop away from his brother while also pulling the extra chair out from under Dean's resting feet.

On a normal day Dean's reaction would have been textbook. A smartass comment on patience or a swift kick in the ass… but this time all Sam got in return was a solemn stare … at least it was finally in his direction.

Something was wrong.

"Dean? Come on give me something here. Anything…. Please…"

_How about a kick in the ass!_

Dean could never resist Sam's pleads and now was no different even in the state he was in. The older hunters arm snaked out of the heavy wool blanket and aimed for the laptop that was now more then halfway across the circular table. He seemed to be pointing more then reaching and Sam got the hint... Dean was trying to show him something…

"Ok I understand…"

_Finally! I felt like that mutt Lassie trying to tell the stupid humans that the kid fell in the damn well!_

Sam pulled the laptop back over to his brother and knelt down beside him as Sam watched his brothers slow and unfortunately still shaky movements to the laptops mouse pad.

It took a few tries but finally Dean got the arrow to do what he wanted and he clicked on an Internet Explorer window in the task menu at the bottom of the screen.

The page popped up and Dean lifted his shaking hand to point to the screen… telling Sam in a slow lethargic way that this was very important.

A medical website glared back at him and Sam reached over to turn the laptop a bit toward him to make it easier to read.

"The Definition of Lithium?" Sam looked at his brother in confusion but the only thing Dean could do apparently was point because the older hunter continued to do it and Sam reached up to put a comforting hand over his brothers shaking one to stop his erratic movements.

_I don't want to hold hands with you Sammy… Just read it ya dumb ass!_

"Ok ok… I'll read it... Its ok." Sam felt Dean's hand go lax in his hold and Sam kept a firm hold, certainly not something he could get away with before, as he read the words on the page.

Sam didn't see a point to this page being so important until he hit the Side effects part.

"Involuntary movements" Sam read out loud in astonishment.

Dean reacted to the words with a slow attempt to lift his hand again and Sam understood. "He gave you Lithium?"

Sam expected his brother to relax his hand in an other answer but he didn't. He proceeded to try and point to the screen again but Sam holding his hand still was impeding his efforts. Sam pulled his hand away and watched as his brother even made a small head nod towards the screen.

The younger sibling looked back to the screen not quite understanding what Dean wanted till he noticed more Explorer windows still in the tray.

_Keep going… you went to college? Cause Sammy this is taking you too long to figure out here._

Sam nodded and clicked on the next window.

A page for the symptoms of Mercury Poisoning greeted Sam eyes and he couldn't help the gasp that escaped his mouth.

"Convulsions, the shakes of hands, feet, head, frequent headaches, ringing in your ears, cold hands and feet,

Chronic fatigue."

"God..." Did he really do this to him? Did Dean know what he did to him and now he was trying to explain it to his little brother in the only way he could think of?

_No… not god…_

Sam ran his hands over his face trying to take all this information in. There was one more window to click on and Sam dreaded knowing anymore. He had to though… for Dean's sake.

The last Window popped up all too fast for Sam and what it said wasn't greeted with kindness.

Sam read out loud though he didn't know why. Dean already knew what it said.

"Acepromazine… a tranquilizer used to sedate animals. Keeps an animal from having heart attacks from fear… is NOT a pain reliever"

_Woof…_

Sam closed his eyes tight and slammed the laptop shut unable to read anymore. That fucking BASTARD! He drugged and poisoned his brother! Wasn't torturing him enough tied to a goddamn Surgery table? That son of a bitch was going to hurt! He was going to feel more pain then he'd ever felt before!

The thought of Dean laying there unable to defend himself… shot up with drugs… one of which a frickin Animal Sedative made the anger he didn't know he could have for any living human being crawl through his veins like acid.

Dean had to lay there helpless as he felt everything he did to him. So drugged he couldn't cry out or fight back and now with these convolutions of his. Sam just couldn't understand why… Why? Why would he torture his brother like this! He couldn't even enjoy the fact that his brother was actually awake and out of bed. Dean made sure the first thing he could do was explain why he wasn't himself… To let his Sammy know that he was still in there but just a little trapped at the moment.

Tears welled in Sam's eyes and he was ready to breakdown when a shaky but gentle hand rested on his arm, pulling him from his anguish and back into concerned Sammy.

"I understand Dean… I'm soo sorry!" But Sam couldn't see his bothers face in the dark room. He had shut the laptop ripping away the only light source but he was pretty sure Dean's facial expression didn't change. It just couldn't yet. Not with all the drugs still pumping though him. It would probably still be a few days before Dean was able to get back to normal. At least the IV's they were giving him would help flush it out.

Speaking of IV's…

"Dean? You took out your IV?" Sam reached up to Dean's other hand that clutched the blanket tightly and pulled it towards him. His assumption was confirmed when he felt the top of his brothers shaky hand.

"Oh man… Why didn't you wake me up? I would have helped you."

_Its no biggie little brother. I've had worse. Besides… I didn't need an audience in the bathroom. But I went if that makes you feel better. No wetting the bed for me._

Sam frowned at his brother's silence. It would probably take a few days before he could hear his brother's voice again.

'No shit…' He said to himself. At least Dean could somehow communicate with him now. Though he was still completely helpless.

Suddenly… in the dark dusty bar of the Roadhouse, Sam figured out Gordon's plan to be rid of the Winchesters for good. And it was going to happen VERY soon… Dean was helpless! Vulnerable. That's what Gordon wanted. It was his only way to beat him.

The younger hunter shook his head of his negative thought for the time being and reached out to his brother.

"Come on Big Brother… Lets get you back to bed."

Sam helped Dean stumble back into their room and tried like hell to gently rest his brother into the comforts of the bed. Dean was ice cold and still shaking like a leaf but he was completely awake! He had been in and out the past few days but now he sat up on the lumpy mattress on his own and that fact alone had Sam thanking whatever god there was for it. The incident early had scared him. It hit him deep that he had hurt Dean and especially now that he knew what was coursing through his brothers veins. The fact that Dean couldn't tell him he was hurting him tormented him even more.

But he was Awake! And he was moving around!

Sure he wasn't talking but they'd take one victory at a time.

Sam grabbed an other blanket off of his cot and flung it around his brother's shoulders, tucking it around him in an effort to help the deep cold wracking deep into Dean's bones. After learning the drugs Gordon shot him with and the effects of them he was more at ease now with Dean's constant shaking, feeling more certain they'd pass with time.

_What if I didn't want the blanket Sammy? God... I feel like a doll._

"I have to check your bandages Dean…" Sam knelt in front of the bed Dean was sitting on and reached to pull the blankets away from his point of interest. Once Sam got down to his brother's t-shirt, he slowly pulled it up, exposing the white bandaging below. A red hue was present under the bandaging signaling Sam that it had bled some since the last time Sam changed them.

"Hey… why don't you lie back down. It'll be easier."

_Aren't you gonna buy me dinner first?_

Dean, to Sam's joy, heeded Sam's suggestion and slowly flopped sideways before sluggishly turning onto his back as he got his legs up on the bed. Sam gave Dean a small smile and turned to the old oak dresser on the other side of the room. He rummaged a bit with what he needed, grabbing gauze and some Hydrogen Peroxide to clean off the area around Dean's stitches. The last thing they needed was for Dean to get an infection. He was already grateful they had some antibiotics in the Impala stashed away for situations like this. Now that he was awake he could start taking them.

With Dean was resting on his back; his tired eyes watched Sam's every move. He pulled up a chair and pulled Dean's shirt back up again.

Sam tried to be as gentle as possible pulling at an edge of the medical tape in an effort to not pull to hard and possibly cause Dean any more pain. But as he continued to pull back more and more of the bandaging away from his brothers stomach, Sam realized something was wrong.

Peeling the rest away and grabbing the bottle of peroxide and a clean cloth, Sam ran the liquid over the area of the stab wound in his brother's stomach. Confusion set in to Sam's features and the younger hunter looked up to the older hunter's curious eyes.

"Dean? How?"

_How Indeed…_

As he figured, he didn't get an answer. Just a knowing look that Dean already knew what Sam was going to find.

Once Sam wiped away the drying blood, nothing but unmarred skin greeted him. The stab wound in Dean's stomach was completely healed. The stitching Ellen used just the other night was now resting on the cloth Sam used to clean the blood away.

Getting over his shock, Sam dropped the cloth and grabbed at one of Dean's hands, pulling it out towards him with more roughness then he normally would have intended. Still his brother didn't fight him, only allowed Sam the chance to figure things out on his own.

Once the bandages wrapped around the older brother's wrists were removed, Sam started on the other arm, still a tad unbelieving at what he found underneath them…

Nothing…

"I don't understand…"

_I don't really think you want to…_

Sam looked back to Dean's face desperately needing an answer but knowing full well it wasn't going to happen at the moment. All he could do was watch Dean's eye's flick from him to the bedroom door.

Sam followed his gaze finding Ellen in the doorway. Her features told the tale of sleep as she clutched a robe around her.

"Sam? Is Dean alright? I saw the light on and got worried."

_Oh good… its ELLEN…_

All Sam could do was look up at her with an astonished bewildered look on his face that the older woman suddenly mistook for shock.

"Is something wrong Sam?"

_Its ALL wrong sister…_

Ellen pushed with more urgency in her voice, making her way into the room to check on Dean with her own eyes. "Oh honey! Your awake!" She exclaimed at seeing Dean looking back at her. "How are you feeling?"

_Like I'm practicing for a Mime Exam… _

Dean just looked up at her and before Ellen could question Dean's lack of a response and before she noticed the missing bandages, Sam grabbed her by the arm.

"We need to talk." His tone was serious and Ellen's demeanor changed from one of happiness at seeing Dean awake to one of worry.

Sam pulled the weathered bar owner out into the hall and closed the door behind him quietly.

"What's wrong Sam? He's awake."

"Yea he's awake but something is wrong." Sam looked down at his feet with his hands on his hips debating whether or not to tell her about the drugs in his system. She had a right to know with Dean in her care but would Dean want her to know? He had always been leery of the Roadhouse group and sometimes Sam got in situations where he'd wished he trusted his brothers' instincts. Something told him now though that she did need to know and to be warned… Gordon had a plan and Sam was certain he knew what it was.

"Sam?" Ellen's voice pulled Sam from his mind and he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Gordon drugged him."

"We know that… We saw his arms…"

"And poisoned him…"

"What?"

"I know what he gave him Ellen… The psycho made some sort of concoction!"

"What Sam? What did he use?"

"Lithium, and this Animal Tranquilizer called Acepromazine…"

"Jesus…" She breathed. But just when she thought it couldn't get worse though… Sam lowered the bomb on her.

"He gave him Mercury poisoning too… It's screwing up his system royally."

"Mercury? Oh god…" Ellen's intake of breath worried Sam… she knew something. Oh god… did he want to know?

"Ellen… what?"

"I've heard of it Sam… Hunters talk. I heard about this mix that some of the hunters were using… making bullets out of them… coating their arrows with it. Sam… It was to bring down whatever beast they were hunting, putting it down long enough to do what ever spell they needed to or kill it in whatever way was its downfall. I remember one of them mentioning the mercury in it… effecting the nervous system of whatever they were after."

"Gordon must have known about it. He used it on Dean."

"God Sam I'm sorry. His shaking… That's why."

"Yea… And he's not talking."

"He's not? He hasn't said one word?

"Not one… He is still convulsing on and off and can't seem to show emotions."

"Then how do you know what Gordon used on him?"

"Dean… well… I woke up and he wasn't in his bed. I found him at my laptop in the bar. He had pages up explaining what each thing was... trying to tell me the only way he could think of."

"Poor boy…" Ellen commented as her eyes drifted away from Sam.

"There's more…"

"There always is…"

"His arms… His stomach… They are all healed."

"Excuse me?"

"He's all healed Ellen! I don't get it either! Obviously the drugs in him wouldn't have that effect. That bastard stabbed Dean in the stomach… that wound would have taken months to fully heal with the muscles it cut through and god only knows what organs it pierced. I debated on bringing him to the hospital Ellen. If he hadn't woken up I probably would have done so in the morning… But… It's gone. The cuts on his wrists are healed. Everything. The fading burn marks are gone too…"

"Sam… I don't know what he used or how he did it… but what if Gordon wasn't trying to kill your brother."

"No he was… just not yet. He wants both of us and he used Dean to get to me. This was payback Ellen. Gordon tortured Dean as payback for kicking his ass a few months ago… but it was to get to me… somehow…"

"You are jumping to conclusions here. Why would he go after you Sam?"

"Cause I'm different."

"How does he know that? Come on."

"I don't know how he knows but I bet you he does. Besides. I'm the one that forced the issue on saving those vampires. Maybe he's a grudge holder."

Ellen didn't know what to say and ran her hands through her hair in thought.

"He's going to come back for us Ellen… and soon. He knows Dean is helpless and can't protect me from him."

"Sam STOP! You are jumping to conclusions… just relax ok? He's not coming here. He doesn't know you're here! Just wait until Dean's better before you do something drastic ok? Promise me that? You need to talk to Dean first and you can't do that till he's able to again. Wait for your brother Sam… ok? He may know more then you do."

Sam stared at the woman, burning to disagree with her but nodded anyways in acceptance of the plan for now… But nothing was going to stop him now from taking his brother away from here at the slightest odd feeling or weird cold draft. Sam didn't do it before because of Dean's injuries and the risk of moving him… but now that wasn't a concern anymore. Dean was ready to go and they'd do what they did best if he had to… and that was disappearing. The Winchesters had that act down to an art.

"Alright I'll wait."

"Good… now go back in there and be with your brother. I'll see you both in the morning."

"Thanks Ellen."

The middle aged woman gave Sam a warm smile and simply turned around to head back to her own room, leaving Sam alone in the dark hallway.

When Sam re-entered the bedroom he found his big brother out for the count again. It was for the best though. He needed it.

The younger sibling gathered up the bandages that they didn't need anymore and gently pulled a blanket up to his brothers chin.

Tomorrow hopefully would bring more progress.


	7. Chapter 7

Here's an other one as promised! I am sorry i couldn't get it up before the new episode! i rewrote a whole scene i didn't like lol

But WOW! Wasn't that a frappin fantastic episode??!?! Dean's roll as protector was seriously enhanced a 100 fold now wasn't it? I liked Ava too! and come on... Gordo was an awesome bad guy as usual!

Ok here ya go! May take me a few more days for the next chapter! but 3 chappies in three days! I think i did pretty good huh? Keep lettin me know how i'm doin guys!!

Enjoy!

* * *

"You don't have to pee do ya…" The Vampire hunter spat his words out as he ushered the young teen to the passenger side of the car.

"No…"

"Good… cause I don't want to stop like 50 times cause your kid bladder can't hold itself." Gordon slammed the door and walked around to the other side just in time to hear the young boy answer back.

"I'm 13… I can hold it now…"

"Yea… well… anyways. Gordon turned the key of his El Camino and wasted no time gunning the old car out of the muddy driveway. Seconds later the abandon house was once again vacant and quiet as its recent tenants turned a corner down the road and sped off.

"Once we get there don't pull any tricks. And don't run off. I'll just find you anyways." Gordon turned to look at the boy next to him and gave him a menacing stare. "And I'll make it hurt."

The orphaned Teenager was starting to get rather annoyed with all of the threats and instead of acting scared he put on an indifferent expression on his young face and found an avenue to change the subject.

"So… if you don't mind me asking. Why do you want to kill that guy and his brother?"

Gordon gave a sideways glance at the change in the kid's demeanor.

"I should probably question your sudden interest but… I suppose what harm could it do. Lets just say that they deserve to feel a little pain after what they did to me. I don't expect someone your age to understand."

The boy didn't respond and Gordon figured that part of the conversation was over.

"These Winchesters are good hunters. Some say their father was the best there was. I even liked Dean. We're pretty similar… The guy just doesn't realize it."

"If you like him why did you do all those bad things to him?"

"Dean could take it. He's tough. But mostly that torture was only to satisfy myself. Though it has an underlying reason. His brother… It wasn't just to weaken the big brother but the little brother as well. His defense are gonna be screwed up with his brother out of commission. And once I get both of them together that's when the REAL fun will begin."

The hunter stopped. The Cheshire cat grin on his face faded slightly and he reached over and turned on the radio.

"No more questions. Shut up and enjoy the ride."

The Teen was confused. He still didn't understand the reason why anyone would do something that bad to anyone else and still continue to want to hurt them. It didn't make sense to his young mind and right then he decided on what he was going to do. He had to get away from him… some how.

* * *

Dean pulled himself sluggishly into a sitting position, leaning heavily on the wall the bed sat against. He had been awake for hours just laying there listening to the music emanating from the Roadhouse bar. There were a few times he wished he had the right amount of energy to stride into the bar area and take a sawed off shotgun to the Jukebox. Who ever was out there playing "Whip It" needed a swift kick in the ass too.

Now that he was awake and aware the day just lingered on. Sam sat and read books all day and every once in a while he'd lift his head up to sneak a peek as Dean. The action was starting to grate on the older hunters nerves. The silence was deafening and Dean just wanted to scream. He hated not being able to go when he wanted to. And he REALLY hated feeling like a prisoner in his own body.

At least he could do little things now. He managed to suck down a whole bottle of Gatorade at Sam's insistence. Something about electrolytes and shit. It didn't matter to Dean. It could have been sludge and he'd have drunk it. He was so thirsty and if he could just get the words out he would have ordered a Number 3 with a large Fry too. But he was sure his "nurses" wouldn't go for that.

Shit… what time was it? Hell… what DAY was it?

Slowly he dragged his still heavy legs off the side of the bed. It felt good to move things no matter how hard it was to accomplish it. The pain in his back though still lingered. It was confusing how everything else healed on him except for that. He was fairly certain of how he got the injury though. But he wouldn't dwell on that now. Phone… he needed to find his phone. Leave it to those Roadhouse-ers to not have a freakin clock hanging around.

Dean looked around the room in search of where his brother could have put his cell. He took in Sam's sleeping form in the cot only feet from his own bed.

Poor Sam.

He may not have been awake for long but he could see the strain this was having on his little brother. This whole thing wasn't fair on Sam. Luckily he didn't know the half of it... though that was far from comforting. He'd have to spill it sooner or later.

Finally he saw it. On the old Oak Dresser sat the black shiny cover. It glinted in the small bit of light dripping in from the old blinds.

_Yatzee…_

He still felt like he was in slow motion but at least he could finally move. He made his way over to the dresser with careful slow steps. It annoyed him to no end that he felt like a damn toddler trying to walk for the first time. The night before it took him a damn lifetime to get from the room to Sam's laptop.

Man… the first thing he was going to cut off of that Gordon bastard was his goddamn kneecap.

_Ok Dean one foot in front of the other here…_

Dean finally made it to the dresser and leaned heavily on its sturdy foundation as he snatched up his cell. Without hesitation he flipped it open.

What greeted him was not what he wanted. Jesus! He'd been out of it for this long?

_Shit…_

They had to get out of there. They had stayed too long in one place and Gordon was good. He would find them… Hell… he probably already did. They needed to leave.

And now…

He hadn't tried it before. He didn't even know he still had it in him. But the desperation of the situation made the need for speech necessary. And before he knew it, one word escaped his mouth.

"Sa..am…"

Dean left his cell on the dresser and turned to advance towards his little brothers sleeping form. Sam obviously wasn't going to hear his puny squeak over the loud music. It was time for Extreme Measures.

It took him some effort but finally Dean shuffled himself over to his sleeping brother and didn't waste any more time. He collapsed on top of Sammy, using his weight and shock to do the work for him. It certainly did the trick and before he knew it, Sam was wiggling under his weight.

"What the…" Dean heard muffling under him. He tried to pull himself off of his brother but ended up slinking to the floor along side the cot as Sam sat up quick in surprise.

"Dean? Are you ok?!"

"S.. am…" Dean croaked out. The effort it took to speak shown through Dean's features. His shaking hands were still pulling at Sam's blankets until they were on the floor around Dean's knees, leaving nothing else to grab at but Sam's shirt. "Go…"

"Go Dean? Where?" Sam tried desperately to blink the sleep from his tired eyes. His brother was finally talking to him and in stress over something. He needed to collect himself.

"N…ot he…re… go!"

"Go?? You want to go…"

Dean's face suddenly looked mean and Sam would have been overjoyed to see an expression on his brother's face. Only at a time like this his happiness had to be put on hold. Something was bothering his brother and when Dean Winchester was upset it was cause for concern.

"Mmm… ust… L… …" Dean stopped for a second and focused as best he could. Then he grabbed Sam's collar on his shirt, pulling his little brother towards him to help him realize the urgency of his words. "Mus…t… LEAVE…" He finally got out and let go of Sam's shirt as he sat back down onto the floor out of breath from the exertion of his message.

"Gordon?" Sam questioned, sitting up and flinging his legs off the side of the cot.

Dean nodded in response and closed his eyes. Finally Sam understood. His job was done for now till he could get just a little bit better.

Sam leaped up and grabbed a few things off the dresser… his phone, the keys and a few other trinkets. He then turned back around and grabbed Deans jacket off the back of the lone chair in the room, flinging it over his brothers shoulders.

"I'll be right back." He told him as Dean sluggishly pulled his shaking arms through the holes of the fabric knowing full well it wasn't going to do much but humored Sam anyways.

Sam disappeared from the room, letting the loud music filter into the small bedroom and arrived back quickly with his laptop under his arm.

Dean sat on the floor waiting for a hand to stand. His limbs still didn't want to cooperate but they were going to at least last till they got to the car… he'd MAKE SURE they did.

Sam reached down and took a hold of Dean's hands, pulling him to his wobbling feet. Once Sam was happy with the working of his legs, he pulled away from his brother and pushed Dean's cell phone into his chest for him to take.

"At least we pack light." He said with a sad smile and threw an arm around his brothers shaking shoulders, escorting him out of the back of the loud Roadhouse straight to the comforts of the Impala.

* * *

The smile on Gordon's face couldn't have been any wider. There sitting in front of him was the Impala and no doubt both Winchesters were in that shack of a bar right at this moment. This was all too easy! The fun was almost gone at the lack of effort.

"Alright kid… Stay here."

The hunter didn't want or expect a reply and hopped out of the car with a jump in his step. He reached for the leaver to his secret "Stash", pulling it open to reveal the collection of weapons. A large handgun was his drug of choice and he checked the clip before tucking it in the back of his jeans.

Now the time had come.

* * *

"So he's not talking at all?"

"Not a peep… but at least he's awake. I was going to bring him in something to eat tonight but I haven't gotten a chance yet." Ellen put the glass she was drying down and turned to her daughters. "How about you go in the kitchen and warm up some soup for him… Maybe even bring it in."

Jo looked away from her mothers stare and picked up her own glass to dry. "Maybe… Ash could do it? We ARE pretty swamped. I don't want to leave you here without any help"

"Nonsense. I'm fine here. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you."

"Yea sure…" the blonde mumbled and even though it wasn't meant to be heard it was still caught.

"It's not like the other night Jo. He's ok now."

Jo winced at the memories of the other night. The foam mixed with blood that ran down Dean's face… the reddening blanket. It was like watching a horror show and she cringed every time she remembered it. "I'm sure he is… but I just… I just cant." And with that the young girl picked up her tray and removed herself from behind the bar to get some orders at the tables.

Ellen shook her head. She just couldn't get through to the girl and seeing her in her recently depressed state was starting to wear pretty thin on her motherly emotions.

But Ellen had no time to dwell on it as the Roadhouse doors burst open revealing Gordon's tall frame.

Ellen and Jo exchanged frightened glances as he strode in. His face held a smile and Ellen could think of nothing but slapping it off.

"Hey everyone!! Free drinks down the block at The FoxHole! Big Party! Get um while ya can!"

A few of the Roadhouse patrons exchanged glances excitedly and stood up from their respective chairs throwing what they owed down on the tables and headed towards the doors in haste. Only a couple men remained behind, choosing to ignore Gordon's announcement and continued to sip their beers.

Gordon walked through the leaving crowd and sauntered up to Jo, sliding a hand around her back and pulling her close to his side. She could feel the gun press hard into her side and her eyes looked to her mother in desperation.

"Uh… hey boys… Guess we're closing early. Go get yourselves some free beers." Ellen announced and walked slowly around the bar, keeping a piercing eye on Gordon and Jo.

"Whatever…" one of them mumbled and they both got up from their respective seats.

Gordon's painfully cheery smile stayed on his lips till the last man closed the old wooden door behind him. As soon as the coast was clear he shoved Jo away from him. She bumped into a chair at one of the tables from the force but wasted no time running over to her mother's side.

"So… I understand you are harboring some special hunters. Any idea where they might be?" Gordon slipped his hand back to the gun and pulled it out of its confined, showing it off just a bit for persuasion.

"Special hunters? Gordon you're the only hunter I see…"

Ellen's snarky comeback was halted as the man overturned a table in his annoyance of her answer.

"Don't screw with me Ellen. I know they're here. You can do this the easy way or the hard way. The hard way involves me burning down this shed you call a bar and leaving you homeless. Is that what you want?"

Neither woman answered him; Ellen only brought her daughter closer to her and stood her ground. This psycho wouldn't make her regret helping those two boys. Her conscience would be worse off is she didn't.

"Fine… I'll just find them myself then."

Gordon went right for them and Jo and Ellen stepped aside hastily as he pushed through and headed to the back of the establishment.

"No… SAM!" Ellen shouted. The music from the jukebox was still blearing with an old Johnny Cash song and she was sure her efforts would be in vein anyways but she had to try. "Sam!!! Look out!!"

Gordon growled at the woman's annoying shouts as he kicked through door after door.

One of the doors at the end popped open from the ruckus. Ash stuck his head out cautiously and at seeing Gordon's angry face looming in front of him, the drunken hippy stumbled backwards allowing him entry.

Nothing…

No Winchesters. But their car was out front?

Gordon turned back to the two females and grabbed Jo by the arm harshly. The girl let out a yelp of pain at the strong hold but regained her composure quickly and wiggled in his grasp.

"Where… Are… They…" Jo felt the man's hot breath in her face as he inched closer to her with every word.

"Go screw yourself!" She spat back.

Gordon smiled evilly at her antics and shook his head at her before pushing her harshly to the ground at her mother's feet.

"Not the right answer…"

"Look. We thought they were here… If they aren't then I have no idea where they went. Now get out of here before an other hunter walks through those doors and I alert him to your fun and games." The barmaid's voice was actually calm as stone while she voiced her threat and Gordon pulled back from them.

True… they must have just left. If he hurried up maybe he could get their trail.

Gordon gave an unamused sort of laugh and turned around to walk to the door, stopping only long enough to take a shot at the old Jukebox, silencing the loud music before he walked back out into the night.

Jo staggered to her feet and brushed off her jeans and apron in a huff. She was aggravated in herself. She wanted to be a hunter and she couldn't even fight one.

Both Ellen and Jo stood silent for a few minutes taking in what just happened.

"Where did they go?" The girl finally asked.

"No clue but they are lucky they left when they did."

"He gone?"

Jo and Ellen swung around to find Ash armed with a fork and a keyboard.

Ellen shook her head disappointedly. "Oh… our hero…"

* * *

He couldn't believe it! He must have JUST missed them! Hell... They could have freakin' crossed path's for all he knew!

Gordon flung open the door to his brightly colored car and flung himself in. He twisted the key harshly and swung himself around to back up when he noticed something was missing.

The kid…

"Son of a BITCH!" He shouted into the night.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey all! I'm not happy with this chapter.. so forgive me if its crap lol I just couldn't get it the way i wanted it and figured i waited long enough

Enjoy the Show tonight! Looks like a spooky one!! My awesome friends got me a Supernatural Shirt for my birthday! So i'm going to go back to my Geek X-files days and throw that on after work! LOL

Steph

* * *

Sam had driven through the rest of the darkness. He had clearly seen Gordon's car parked in front of the Roadhouse as he sped off and didn't relax for two whole hours. Once he realized they weren't being followed he started to ease his nerves a bit.

Dean never once drifted off… at least that Sam could tell. Every once in a while he'd sneak a peek at his big brother in the seat next to him. Dean was with him for the ride and even though the urgency to leave so fast left his adrenaline pumping and his nerves shot, he was still somewhat happy to have his brother along side him once more.

"We should pull over soon huh?" Sam glanced his brothers' way and saw a slight shaky nod indicating that the idea was a valid one.

"Where are we supposed to go Dean?" Dean didn't answer him, which wasn't a surprise to Sam. He was full of questions. How did Dean know Gordon was coming? Where were they supposed to run? Hell… What was going on? But he had kept them to himself for the trip. Only now did he resist the urge to keep them to himself. He learned a long time ago to try and trust his brothers instincts more then his own. This time he had to stick to it.

They had driven a good five hours. Surely that was a swell enough distance at the moment. Sam needed to get Dean into a bed to rest. The older hunter had stayed awake the whole five hours. The most he'd been awake since before this whole insane shit happened.

"There's a place coming up here. It'll have to do."

Dean nodded again and brought a lazy hand up to the door handle to try and hold himself sitting upright as the Impala took a right turn into a Red Roof Inn Parking lot.

The place wasn't terrible but Sam made a face anyways as he drove up to the door of the check-in office. "Ya know what Dean. I promise you one day we'll stay at a nice Holiday Inn."

Dean smirked a tiny bit and Sam's insides cheered over just that one little emotion seeping out of his big brother.

"H..hot tubs…" Dean got out in a quiet tone and Sam laughed out loud at the first thought that came to his brother's head.

"Yea Dean… they have hot tubs… and Cable." Sam laughed.

"Eh… O..ver rated."

"Oh who are you kidding big brother? You live for the Lifetime channel."

"Bah…" Dean blurted out and Sam reached over to pat his brother on the shoulder.

"Its ok. You're secret's safe with me."

Sam reached into the glove compartment in front of Dean's haphazardly sprawled legs and pulled out one of their trusty fake credit cards.

"I'll be right back. I'll get us a room."

Dean nodded slightly and gave up in trying to fight the exhaustion coating his eyelids. He let them drift shut promising himself that he'd be able to open them back up when Sammy' got back with a room key.

Sam had no problems inside and got them a nice cozy two queen's in the corner of the building. First floor at Sam's insistence. He didn't think he could help Dean up any stairs right now.

He found his brother's eyes closed. His head was leaning on the window and it only took Sam's gentle knock to illicit a response.

Dean sat up slowly and Sam grabbed the handle of the passenger door, pulling it open.

"Come on… I'll help you. We don't have far to go I promise."

Dean hated needing to have help but he'd have to deal with it for the time being. There was no way he'd be able to get into that hotel without assistance. Though sleeping in the Impala didn't sound like to bad an idea. The dull ache in his back however thought differently.

The older brother reached an arm out to the youngest and Sam grabbed it, gently lifting Dean from the confines of the old Chevy. The last time he pulled his brother from the car he was in a lot worse shape and the progress he had made in the last few days brought a small smile to his lips.

"Sam…" the youngest was snapped out of his reverie by his brother's suddenly stern voice and they connected eyes, knowing full well what his brother was getting out. His tone said it all.

"I know I know… I tell anyone and you'll murder me in my sleep."

"Goo..d boy…" Dean replied, a ghost of a smart-ass smirk resting on his features.

Dean weighed heavily on his brother but Sam was prepared for the burden. The youngest had expected it and before he knew it they were at the motel room door. Sam slipped the key card into the slot and used his foot to get the door open wide enough for their entrance. The two brothers finally fumbled their way into the dark room and Sam did his best to get his brother to the first bed. They were both exhausted and to a passerby they'd have looked like two drunken college kids stumbling in after a late night stupor.

Sam sunk Dean unceremoniously onto the musty comforter and the older hunter put his arms behind him just enough to hold his top half off the bed. He winced noticeably at the soreness in his lower back and his body wouldn't have minded at that moment to frump into a pile onto of the covers. But his sibling had other plans.

"Does something hurt?" Dean's obvious moment of discomfort had the younger hunter squatting down to look eye to eye.

Dean looked up at him sheepishly. He was never one to admit weakness but after everything that happened his mucho tough guy front was pretty much shattered. It was going to take a long time to build that back up again and unfortunately he'd have to deal with these kinds of concerned stares from his little brother.

"'m fine…" he mumbled weakly, tearing his eyes away from Sam at the fib.

"Sure you are." The snippy tone brought the older brother's attention back and Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh don't start getting an attitude Dean. If something hurts just tell me."

Dean closed his eyes in defeat and exhaled deeply. "Back…" he admitted. It really was the only thing that hurt and since everything else seemed to heal itself up it was confusing that this one thing still lingered.

"You're back hurts? Well see… That wasn't so hard. You want some Motrin for it?" Sam's eyes danced at the joy of the admission. It was a start.

"Yea…"

Sam nodded and stood up straight, making his way to the backpack he carried in. His long fingers fumbled around in search of the bottle of pills. He found them towards the bottom and gave them a little shake, signaling their appearance. Sam tossed them to the bed along side his brother and while Dean attempted to get his fingers to work with the childproof cap, Sam went to the bathroom for some water.

Once Dean's shaky fingers were done popping four Ibuprofen and working on controlling the glass of water, Sam took the glass away, putting it on the nightstand in between the beds.

An overwhelming guilt flooded through him at seeing how weak and helpless his big tough brother was. This certainly wasn't normal and even though he'd seen Dean hurt and sick… hell… even dying… this seemed so different. Someone took complete advantage of him. He was tied up… tortured… drugged… this wasn't their everyday bad luck. This was worse. Sam knew if he were in Dean's position… motivation to keep going would have been nonexistent.

But not Dean…

Never Dean…

Dean Winchester didn't have "Quit" in his vocabulary. Sam could recall many moments in their past where Dean was at his whit's end… but he never stopped trudging along. Even when that bastard Demon almost bled him dry and mouthed off in his own fathers skin about how much they DIDN'T need him… Dean never gave up.

Now certainly wouldn't be any different. Sam was sure of it.

The only problem lied in his big brothers emotional state. It was tough for him to handle those pesky closed off emotions. But they'd worry about that when the time came to bring it up. Now wasn't the time. Right now getting Dean better was the main goal. Then they could figure out all this crazy Gordon shit with a clear head.

Sam helped Dean scoot slowly up to the pillows, pulling the comforter out from under his brother's weight as much as he could with every shift. Once Dean was to the headboard, Sam stepped back. He'd helped his brother enough for one morning and if Dean had the strength and bearings at the moment he'd have reminded the younger man of that fact.

Dean pulled the top sheet and comforter up as far as his limbs would allow and cuddled close to the warm fabric. He felt chilled to the bone. He was desperate for the frosty feeling to dissipate but he was sure it wouldn't stop his involuntary shaking. Once he was settled he felt the bed move as Sam sat gently on its edge.

"You should eat something. It'll help with your strength. Do you want anything specific? Keep in mind I think you should start out slow."

Dean gave a lazy shrug under the covers and let his eyes drift closed. He didn't have it in him to make a decision at the moment and the thought of trying to eat? Forget it. Even though his stomach said "BRING IT ON!" His limbs said, "Screw you…"

"Well I'll order you some soup… I'm sure there's take out somewhere around here that will have some."

A nod was Sam's only response and the younger Winchester could already see from the state of relaxation that Dean was already on the road of no return into snoozeville. He wouldn't push it any farther. Dean needed his rest after all. Sam stood up from the bed slowly as to not jostle his now sleeping big brother and made his way over to the small table in the room for the phone book. There would be no way he'd leave Dean by himself just yet. He didn't feel comfortable enough with Gordon on the hunt.

Today… Sam was on Dean-Watch.

* * *

The Orange El Camino skidded to a halt in a Dunkin' Donuts parking lot. The black rubber marks following the car in its wake was an obvious sign of aggression in the driver. Customers turned to look out the big glass windows of the establishment, all in wonder of what was up.

Gordon was seething. His fingers were clenched tight on the leather steering wheel cover. And his teeth were gnashed together in a merciless growl.

'How did they get away?! How did they KNOW to get away? And where the hell did they GO!?'

And now those Winchester bastards must have had the kid. That was not good… not good at all. His plans were going down the tubes and there was nothing he hated more then losing control of a situation.

He had to find them… He had to find that freakin' kid!!

Nothing else was more important.

Gordon jumped out of his car and slammed the door shut. A crowd of customers still gave him curious sideways glances as he entered the building and disappeared towards the bathroom.

The Vamp hunter sauntered up to the payphone outside of the restrooms and grabbed the phone book heatedly. With one swift tug the book was released from the flimsy chain that kept it connected to the booth.

He'd find them… even if he had to go to every raunchy motel across Middle America.

* * *

Sam successfully found a little take out place near by that delivered. They had some chicken soup and it only took 30 minutes before the youngest Winchester heard a car pull up near their motel door. He managed to pay the delivery boy for the food and get the door shut and locked without out waking up his sleeping sibling. Even the afternoon sun that filtered through when he opened the door didn't faze Dean. But as soon as he started pulling out the food from the bag he caught a movement in the corner of his eye.

"You awake? Your soup is here." Sam only received a grumble and the young hunter laughed in spit of himself. "I love how your stomach is your alarm clock. Was it the smell or the sound of Styrofoam that woke you up?"

Dean pushed the blankets lazily away from his face and gave his little brother a groggy look. "Bite me…"

"Ah there's the Sass I missed." Sam grinned in spite of himself and popped the lid off of the small cup of soup. "Now you have to make me a promise you WON'T spill this all over. I'm not in the mood to change sheets."

Dean's expression turned from dazed to mean at the notion that Sam was the "Mother" in all of this. "Screw you!" He fired off. His speech and tone got stronger with every moment and at this very second Dean was channeling a one John Winchester. It was aggravating enough that his body was against him without having to deal with the constant need for help and Sam's cheery ass tone.

"Fine… here." Sam walked the few steps over as Dean pulled himself form the warm confines of the comforters. It was then that he noticed the extra blankets. Sam must have put his own comforter on him while he was sleeping. Was he really shaking that much?

The older hunter reached his shaking hands to the steaming cup, his cold fingers aching for the warmth it would bring. But Sam stopped.

"Dean I think you should eat at the table."

"Why?"

Sam exhaled deeply in defeat and took a step back absentmindedly from this brother. His eyes darted to Dean's shaking hands and the older brother caught on. He slowly lowered them down and held them in front of him. The hunter was sickened. He never felt so out of control of his own body before. The emotions from the feeling started to mist his eyes but in typical Winchester fashion he blocked it all out and threw on a front.

"Ok…" Dean pushed the covers farther down and slowly managed to pull his legs out of the blanket cocoon.

Sam knew right away he hit a sore spot. He hadn't meant to be harsh but Dean's side effects needed to be addressed. And it really wasn't the fact that he'd probably spill the soup all over him without a firm grip… but more that he'd burn himself. The last thing Sam wanted to witness right now was his brother in any sort of discomfort or pain. The younger brothers suggestion came selfishly. Sam's nerves just couldn't take it.

"I'm sorry…"

Dean lifted his tired head to stare into Sam's eyes and shook it. "Don't be…"

Sam lowered the soup back on the table and went over to take his brothers chilled hand to help him off the mattress. "No really… I'm sorry Dean. I shouldn't have left that night."

"What?" Dean's face was a mixture of pissed off astonishment. Surely Sam wasn't going to blame this whole mess on himself? "Knock it off."

"Dean…" Sam winced, hurt at the movement Dean made to extricate himself from the taller sibling in aggravation of his apology.

"Your not my keeper…" Even though Dean's voice was still just slightly above a whisper they still stung just as bad.

"No Dean but I'm you brother… you said it before. I'm suppose to watch your back and you watch mine."

"Isn't your fault…"

"Oh yea? Well it sure feels like it. If I didn't go out… If I had stayed in the room… I would have been able to stop him."

Dean's eyebrows fused together. "Oh really?"

"Yea.."

"Shut up Sam…" Dean's whisper of a voice was harsh and dejected. Was his brother really this stupid?

"I failed you." Sam closed his eyes at what he had just admitted and helped for some reason his brother went Deaf for that one second. Unfortunately Dean Winchesters hearing was spot on and Sam felt a sting as a hand reached up and swatted him harshly in the back of the head. When he opened his eyes again he was greeted by his brother's angry, hurt face.

"You believe that?"

"A little bit…" He admitted sheepishly.

"Well you're a little bit of an idiot." It had been the most coherent sentence his brother had said in a while and it sobered the younger man. Dean's features lightened somewhat and left it at that. His soup was getting cold after all. He turned his back on Sam and made his way over to the uncomfortable wooden Motel chair, leaving the other exhaling to control his emotions.

Once both brothers were seated at the same table the atmosphere turned highly uncomfortable. Dean attempted to slurp as much Soup he could off the spoon before it shook off from his shivers and Sam tried to ignore the painful scene. It didn't take long before Sam set down his Italian Mix Sub and looked up at his big brother.

"Dean... what did he do to you?"

The older hunter felt the question coming. He was surprised it took Sam this long in the first place. But he wasn't ready to get into it… not right now. He desperately hoped that his silence on the matter would give his little brother a clue that he didn't want to talk about it now. But of course his luck was shitty lately and Sam took the silence as his cue to continue on.

"How are you healed? What... Why…? It's just... I don't understand…"

Dean shut his eyes tight almost like he was willing this conversation to disappear and Sam winced at the rising turmoil he was causing his brother. It was too soon... it had to be. Dean was tortured at the hands of a crazed hunter and all he could worry about was finding out answers to questions that at the moment didn't need to be asked.

Sam mumbled a "Nevermind." and the two brothers ate the rest of their food in uneasy silence.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey all!!! Hope everyone is swell! Ok! I must explain a little bit in this chapter. If anyone hasn't read Blind and Alone… there is going to be a Character of mine from that story. I tried to set it up where its not too confusing if you don't want to ready it. I had it planned that this character was going to help in this story.. Though they aren't going to be in it enough to require anyone to read it… unless you want to!

Ok I split up this and an other chapter that I'm working on now! I'll try to get that up tomorrow evening!!

Enjoy and shout me a holla if ya want! And Thanks to the awesomeness that is Pure... I'm going to have a Chocolate chip Cookie! Mmm! Lol Gal you had me thinking about cookies all dang day yesterday lol. I had to make them!

* * *

Sam entered the Motel room, grocery bags in hand. The second his eyes could adjust to the darkness of the room he set about to attain his brothers state. Dean hadn't moved since he had left and granted he was only gone for a good twenty. But for Dean Winchester to not even acknowledge actions as simple as doors opening and shutting and obvious rustling noises concerned Sam to no end. Dean was getting better every day but for some reason his brother just couldn't kick it completely. Sam had suggested the day before for Dean to take some antibiotics to help with the Mercury poisoning even though he wasn't sure it was going to help much. Sam was no doctor but it seemed to him that his brother hit a wall in his recovery.

Dean's tremors were few and far between. Only certain times it would pop up and show its ugly head. Unfortunately it was at times that were the worst accepted.

Sam finally got Dean to leave the room that morning for breakfast only to have it blow up in his face when his brother suddenly couldn't hold his cup of orange juice without some spilling over the sides. Sam tried to help and asked a passing waitress for straws… for each of them. But it was no use. Dean was done eating with only two sips of OJ and a fork full of waffle.

Dean had too much pride and wouldn't just set it aside till things cleared in his system. That damn Winchester Stubbornness was making things a whole lot harder then they needed to be. But the hunter had been through so much and every time Sam felt like losing his temper at his brother it only took the memory of Dean strapped to the surgery table, bleeding, drugged and tortured for him to throw that idea right out the window.

Dean may have been making it harder but in the end he had every right to handle it the way he saw fit. So far, excluding the minor issues and moments that weren't easy, his big brother was holding his own. It wasn't in Dean's nature to feel helpless and Sam could only imagine the inner torment the eldest was fighting with.

Sam set down the bags and slowly made his way over to Dean's bed. The top blanket was pulled up past the older hunters nose cutting off half of his face from Sam's vision. He was on his side, curled into the tightest of fetal positions that made Deans true size deceiving. The steady rise and fall of his shoulders and the softness of his position eased Sam instantly. No tremors.

Sam had to throw his emotions aside however and wake his brother up. If his calculations were correct Dean had been sleeping for 10 hours straight and in order to keep his brother in good enough health to keep fighting the shit in his system he needed to eat and drink and take his meds. He wouldn't fail Dean on that front.

The young hunter reached to the side table next to the beds and scooped up his brothers Cell phone to flip it shut. He didn't want to leave Dean alone but didn't see a way around it. He stopped at the small market across the street so the motel room containing his brother was in full sight the entire time. He stayed connected through cell phone, listening to his brothers sleeping breaths coming through from phone to phone. Any odd different sound and he'd be back at the room within seconds.

Slowly and gently, Sam sat down on the bed and whisked a hand to his brother's forehead checking for fever. He hadn't had one even after his body miraculously healed, which was still a mystery to Sam, but it didn't stop him from momentarily checking when he could do it stealthily. The action was more for confirmation then comfort but the youngest smiled despite himself as Dean inhaled lightly and sighed at the touch. Certainly something his brother wouldn't have let slip if he had known better.

Sam watched his brother relax and snuggle farther down into the covers. He balked at what he had to do, almost changing his course of action. But it had to be done and with a gutsy move, the younger hunter reached for a soft hold on his brother's shoulder and gently shook.

"Hey man… Gotta wake up now."

Sam heard a grumble from under the blanket around Dean's mouth and his grin got wider at a small snippet of normalcy etching through.

"Dean Come on… I'm sorry but you need to take those antibiotics and then you need to eat… Lets go." He added with a stronger tone then before. For never experiencing a mothers stern tone Sam was really doing a good job creating it.

Dean's eyes popped open slowly and stayed squinted for a few moments as his eyes adjusted to what little light was filtering in the cracks in the closed curtains. The sun had gone down a few hours ago but the outside motel lighting was still strong enough to sneak in. Sam waited patiently as his brother went through the stages of awareness and patted his arm lightly when Dean's eyes fully opened and rested on him.

"Good Morning sleepy head! Time to get up and start the day!" Sam knew his brother hated such cheeriness first thing in the morning but since it was actually 9 o'clock at night it shouldn't apply. "I got dinner!"

Dean's eyebrows scrunched at the obvious distaste in Sam's cheery tone. He groaned and rolled slowly onto his back, trying to stretch out the stiffness in his limbs from the numerous hours of lying in almost the same position. Sam stood up from the bed and waited, engrossed in the happiness that enveloped him at Dean's facial expression. The long lasting excitement over the fact that he could make them was sure to make his cheerful tone even more chipper.

Sam reached down and pulled the blankets from Dean's body before the other sibling had any inclination to roll back over again. Surprised etched his face for a brief second at the amount of blankets Dean was curled into. 'Was he still that cold?'

"Give me your hand." Sam ordered at the realization. "Come on Dean."

Dean gave Sam a confused glare and reached for the outstretched hand above him. The look was screaming 'What's your problem?' but the youngest ignored it while pulling his brother up into a sitting position.

Dean's hands were like ice and Sam frowned, losing all cheer he held only seconds before. He had hoped by now Dean would have overcome that side effect but apparently it was going to be the fly in the ointment for his brother right along with the tremors. Something HAD to give.

"You should take a shower… I'll get the food out and ready for you when you're done…" Sam turned away from his brother and went back to the small table where he had set the groceries down on and started rummaging in the bags. It was clearly an attempt to avoid his brother's stare.

The shift in Sam's behavior however didn't go unnoticed and Dean worked on fighting words out, wincing at the gravel that lay on his throat as he did so. "Sammy…" Dean knew the sound of his voice would snap Sam back around to him.

It still hurt to try and talk… and he had to focus to do it but the fog was slowly lifting and it was becoming easier and easier to do those normal things again that he took for granted. He'd been holding off voicing anything for the past few days since they left the Roadhouse hoping the next time he had to use his returned ability to talk it would be more normal and easier to manage.

Sam took his hands out of the bag and laid them flat on the table, taking a deep sigh to calm his nerves before turning back to Dean. "It's alright Dean. You don't have to force it. I'm just a little upset."

"Why…?" Dean fought out, the grain in his voice a mix of sleep and misuse.

Sam stared into his brothers eyes for a second, contemplating the answer to that very question. Then with an uneasy laugh he broke contact and shook his head.

"Never mind. Go take your shower… Warm up." Sam spared him a quick forced smile before turning back to the bags and hoped the stubbornness that defined Dean Winchester hadn't fully built up to full strength yet. He yearned to leave this subject as is. He hated to see weakness in his brother and lately it had been getting harder and harder to handle the longer it took him to recover. That wasn't Deans fault OR his problem. The older hunter was trying his best and Sam was grateful for his effort. It was Gordon and what he did to his brother, the fact that he couldn't' prevent it or stop it, that sent Sam into bouts of guilt and anger.

He'd apologize later… but right now he needed to be alone.

Dean made no attempt to force the issue. He pretty much got the point with the comment to 'warm up' and pulled himself to his feet. He was still a bit weak but he could now get around without any help. Dean made his way over to his bag in the corner of the room. He pulled out what was necessary for a shower and a change of clothes and slide into the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Sam watched the door shut and shook his head, collapsing into one of the wooden chairs at the table. How was Dean taking this so well? He was aware of the mood changes from the drug/poison concoction Gordon shot him up with… but the idea of it suppressing Dean Winchesters anger just wasn't sitting well with Sam. The horrible feeling that Dean was hiding something ate at him.

Burying his head in his hands Sam did the one thing he hadn't allowed himself the privilege of since Dean's kidnapping.

And while the tears burned down Sam's cheeks he was unaware of his brothers torment as he leaned on the other side of the bathroom door. His eyes were shut tight in a grimace at the sound of his brother's tears just on the other side.

'Not yet Sammy…' he cooed in his mind, 'I just can't tell you yet…'

* * *

Sam stood up, wiping his eyes dry and looked up at the door his brother was behind.

What could he do?

Dean's miraculous healing all but stopped, leaving behind constant shaking and a cold that bit to the bone. What was he suppose to do about it? He couldn't leave Dean alone and go off to find answers. It was bad enough he worried crossing the street to the small market for food! Any farther was unacceptable. Dean needed to be checked by a doctor but he knew his big brother, even with the issues he was having right now, wouldn't be going for that idea. And Sam knew Dean's back was still aching him just by the stiff way he would move.

That confused him greatly. The rest of Dean healed up completely. His wrists left no scars and neither did his stomach. The burn marks that were vague when he found him were completely gone as well… but the pain in his back still remained.

These ailments would hinder Dean in a hunt. His aim would be nonexistent and his concentration would be close to nil dealing with the cold and the pain. Sam needed Dean fresh again and soon. There had to be something! If only…

"Jenn!" Sam blurted out to the empty room. Why didn't he think of it before! Jenn and the Winchesters had been through a lot together. She helped Sam and Dean find each other after a hunter for a witch went horrible wrong. She became like a little sister to them and he was almost enraged at himself for not coming up with the idea sooner. Sure she wasn't a doctor, but a nurse is as good as anything.

The hunter pulled out his cell phone and gave a slight pause. Dean would be pissed that he called her… "Ah Screw it" Sam announced and flipped through his contacts in search of the young nurses phone number. Dean would just have to deal with it. He couldn't take this helpless feeling anymore.

Sam glanced up at the bathroom door and heard the start of the shower. Good… that would drown out the sound of the conversation. With that reassurance, he hit 'Send'.

The phone rung a couple times before a click was heard and a cheery voice echoed through the earpiece.

"Sam!!! Oh my goodness! How are you?" Jenn's voice was an instance comfort as she expressed her excitement to see Sam's name on her caller ID.

"Hey Jenn. I'm good how are you doing? How's your mother?"

"Oh we are both great thank you!!! How's Dean?"

Sam paused. How was he supposed to begin? Jenn was closer to Dean. This wasn't going to be an easy thing to say. "Um… well…"

"Sam… is everything ok?" The young nurse was attuned to finding out what was wrong. After all, it was her job to know. She not only took care of the body… but the mind as well.

"Well not really…"

"Dean… is Dean ok?" Sam paused in answering her again and Jenn couldn't take it anymore. "Sam?!" Her voice was frantic. Worry for Dean dripped from her voice.

"Jenn he's… he's ok…" Sam finally said, not knowing how to actually describe his brother at the moment but couldn't' let her think negatively about Dean's condition. Sam could audibly hear her sigh of relief and grimaced over the fact that he partly lied to a person he considered closer to them then actual family.

"Then what's wrong Sam? You're worrying me."

"Well actually Jenn… it IS Dean. Look, before you start to worry again he's in the shower right now. He's here with me… He's ok. But he's not good… He's not great. And I need help."

"What happened? Did he get hurt on a hunt?"

"Sort of…"

"Sort of? Sam…"

"It's a very long story and to avoid Dean finding out I talked to you, I can't tell you now. That's not important."

"If it involves you two then its very important."

"Dean was kidnapped…" Sam blurted out. No sugar coating was needed. He didn't have the time.

"Wha…"

"He was tortured and drugged Jenn…" The hunter interrupted "…and though he seemed to have miraculously healed up, which I still haven't figured out yet… he cant seem to shake the side effects of the drugs he was pumped with."

"Oh my god." The young woman went silent on the other end as she took the information all in. "Sam are you sure he's ok?"

"Everything healed up ok."

"Well miracles seem to happen around your brother if my memory serves me right." Her tone turned a bit light hearted at the memories buzzing in her mind.

"Yea I guess…" Sam remembered the past like it was only yesterday and momentarily shared in the trip down memory lane. The moment however didn't last long and the nurses' concerned voice snapped him back to reality.

"What are the side effects?"

"He's always cold. His hands... his feet… everything. He can't ever get warm… but that's not the worst of it. He shakes terribly."

"Shakes?"

"Yea like he's shivering but he's not. I know he's cold but it isn't that kind of shake. He's been doing it off and on ever since we found him. He also was having a hard time communicating. It took him at least 4 days to gain his voice back and he's still having problems getting the words out. They are there… he just seems slowed. I guess it's hard to explain."

"Jesus" he heard her whisper. "What else Sam? Tell me everything you can"

Sam hadn't planned on tackling the difficult job of rehashing the living nightmare they had just went through. But it was good to have someone to talk to about it all. He explained as much as he could to the young nurse and she didn't let down. Sam pulled a notepad toward him and jotted down what she relayed. They talked until Sam heard the shower shut off. He quickly expressed his gratitude for the help and promised to call to let her know how things went before he clicked the phone shut.


	10. Chapter 10

-Waves excitedly!- Sup everyone! I wanted this up earlier today with a goal! Before the Supernatural episode tonight lol. But I had to work and then dinner and… well.. yea! Then I made an other goal. BEFORE Leno came on! … Well then a sibling stopped over and we had to converse so it got pushed back to Conan…

haha.. Now that it's CARSON… Its time! Lol

I have to give a shout out to Relativity1953 for giving me a LOVELY suggestion and some good info pertaining to the story! Thank you so much! There will be more to come in an other chapter. You'll see!

On a side note... I had a bad dream last night that Jensen Ackles died doing a stunt on the set of Supernatural. It had something to do with falling down stairs? ALSO in the same dang dream one of my Dogs died in her sleep! Needless to say i've been snoogling that pooper all day and was greatful to enjoy Jensen tonight in this latest episode. I blame it the popcorn i had last night during Idol LOL so lets cross our fingers for better dreams tonight!

Well anyways! My contacts are coming off my eyeballs and my bladder hates me so enjoy this next installment! Night all!

* * *

The next morning Sam was up with the cows. He had a mission and wanted to get it done fast so he didn't leave Dean alone for too long. 

The younger brother had pulled a handgun from the waistband of his Jeans and handed it to the older hunter. Dean tore his eyes from the small television and reached up to accept the weapon without argument. Sam had assured him that he wouldn't be long. He was just going to get Gas and a few provisions before they checked out that afternoon. Dean didn't have to know what those specific "Provisions" where and they had stayed long enough... it was time to move on. It was safer if they kept moving.

When Sam returned back to the room a note greeted him on the bed. It had alerted the younger sibling as to the whereabouts of his big brother. He didn't like finding the empty room but at least this time there was a note. The fear of losing his brother again rose up in his throat when he saw the empty room. He certainly was going to berate his sibling as soon as the time was right.

Sam entered the coffee shop and spotted Dean at a booth close to the back. A part of him huffed at the fact that Dean left the room without him this morning. He knew how rough things had been lately for his big brother but the fact that he didn't seem to want his help or company made Sam feel useless and depressed. He had to keep shaking off the feeling and remind himself that his brother was indeed a Winchester and that's just how things worked.

Sam slid into the cushioned seat across from his brother, grateful for once that there was a booth that could contain his height without knocking his knees on the table. Once settled he watched as his brother pulled his hands from his jacket pockets. He squeezed them tight a few seconds before placing them around the steaming cup of coffee resting in front of him.

Dean was fidgety, jumpy, not at all at ease and Sam would have to have been blind to not notice Dean's attempts to get his hands warm. They still were giving him problems and Sam hoped deeply that this side effect wasn't a lasting scar for the rest of his life… especially if it affected his hunting.

"You seem really anxious." Sam watched Dean as he shook his leg. The motion shook the table top slightly.

"And I'm gonna be for a while..." Dean replied never taking his eyes off of the mug as he ran his fingers over the handle. "So lay off…"

"Sorry… I'm just concerned."

"Yea I know…" Dean paused in an apologetic silence. "Just wish I didn't need it."

Sam's eyebrows fused in confusion. "What… my concern?"

"Your worry…" Dean never looked up at Sam but lifted the Coffee mug to his lips slowly and took a slow sip. Seemingly indifferent to the depth of the conversation the brothers were starting to sink into.

"Sorry Dean… but I almost lost you. Do you know how it felt to see you like that?" Sam's voice was calm… a whole lot calmer then the rest of his body was. If his outer emotions were anything like his inner emotions it was quite possible the table his hands rested on would have exploded into tiny little pieces.

"No..."

Sam bit his lip with ferocity and looked around the diner. He needed to look anywhere but at his vacant brothers cold eyes. The same eyes that avoided Sam's since the moment he sat down. The bubbling frustration had now reached to the top and unfortunately the younger Winchester had no control as he felt it spill over. "No you don't! I got into that room and saw you… lying there… I thought I was already too late…"

Dean didn't answer him but did finally give a flicker of a glance to his sibling. He really didn't want to relive this now especially when it still wasn't straight in his own mind yet.

"I don't mean to be short with you Sam. I can't help it."

Sam nodded, releasing a breath he didn't notice he was holding. The drugs were probably still wreaking havoc on his brother to an extent he couldn't' fathom and he understood that just fine. But Dean couldn't use that excuse all the time and something told him the Dean he was getting now was part Drug induced and part honest to goodness Dean Winchester.

The two hunters sat in silence for a few minutes. Neither knowing what to say… or better yet… how to begin something to break the silence. Sam fiddled with a napkin edge while feeling the small weight of the object in his pocket. Something Sam hoped carried the answer and solution to the torment he saw etched in the features of the man sitting across from him.

It was now or never… The faster he got this out the faster they could get things somewhat back to normal.

"Dean… I have an idea."

The older brother glanced back up again at Sam's voice. "Thinking is a dangerous pastime Sammy…"

"Maybe in your case."

"Oh snark… nice one." A small smirk fell on Dean as he focused on his coffee cup once again. Sam relished in the tiny victory. At least he got a small smile out of him though it didn't make the next thing he was going to say any easier.

"I talked to Jenn…"

"Huh?" Dean finally looked fully up from the interesting coffee mug straight into Sam's big brown eyes. The little brother misconstrued Dean's slightly shocked expression with confusion.

"Jenn… Nurse Jenn."

"I know who Jenn is…" Dean snapped. Did he really mean to snap like that?

"Well... I told her."

The older hunter exhaled exasperated. He didn't want anyone brought into this. It was bad enough the Roadhouse crew was involved. Dean was starting to really question Sam's ability to keep his mouth shut.

"Now wait a second. Just listen."

"Did I say anything?" Sam was hushed up for a brief moment at the thick attitude thrown his direction and tried to ignore his brothers' pissy nature. Was irritability a side effect?

"She gave me a few remedies."

"Remedies…"

"Yea. I told her what Gordon used on you. She gave me a few ideas."

The elder rolled his eyes. "Oh this should be good."

Sam reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a bottle of clear liquid. Clearly it was a medication and Dean inwardly shuddered at having more drugs pumped into him. He looked back and forth from the bottle to Sam. "Well… I guess you didn't just go and gas up the car did you…" Dean said matter-of-factly. "What is it?"

"Its called Chemet. Jenn said it's used to disolve the Mercury so you pee it out." Sam set it on the old diner table and slid it a bit towards his brother. Dean reached a shakey hand over to snatch it up, reading the small print on the label.

"Lovely…"

"Well… I figured… I … its just. I kinda figure that out of the three things he gave you… the Mercury one was the most serious. That one has long lasting effects. If we could just get that under control you'd be back to normal. No more shaking, no more cold hands and feet. You wont be so tired… and uh.. you wouldn't be so mean."

Dean looked up at his brother with an innocent look that screamed 'Who me?'

"I'm not mean."

"Yes you are."

The two brothers had a mini staring contest of wills and Dean, knowing he was wrong, backed down first.

"Ok I'm being a bitch... fine. So this is suppose to help?"

"That's what she said. She said drinking some Orange juice or milk wouldn't hurt either. And a bath in epsom salt too. Its supposed to draw out the Mercury in your system through your pores."

"We'll have to find a cleaner bathroom for that nonsense. But… I suppose I can deal with that."

"Well you are gonna have to… cause your taking this and your not going to fight me on it." Sam's voice was stern and his glare was piercing. His words cleary insinuated one thing… 'I want 'my' Dean back'

"I'm not going to fight you Sammy. This is just hard." Dean's voice was a whisper and it was Sam's turn to be shocked. Dean? Admit something was hard?

"I know… I'm sorry."

There was silence as Dean fiddled the coffee mug with his unsteady right hand some more. Sam suddenly felt the need to take the damn mug away so Dean would stop focusing on that.

Sam cleared his throat with unease. He had something to say and he just couldn't hold it in any longer. "I know that you probably don't want to hear this. But the night I found you… it was so scary Dean. I thought for sure you were going to die in my arms."

"In your arms?" A screw face busted on the older brothers features, obviously trying to ignore Sam's moment of emotional throw up.

"Knock it off Dean… I'm just trying to let you know what it felt like."

Dean exhaled again and accepted he wasn't getting out of this… though… he'd never wish Sam to know what his experience felt like.

"You were foaming at the mouth, which I read later was a side affect of the mercury, but there was blood in it. I thought for sure that this time there was no turning back. There was no Le Grange. There was no miracle healing like at the hospital."

Dean snorted at the slight mention of his fathers 'deal'. "That was not a miracle Sam."

"Yes it was… Dad gave you that miracle and I wish you'd just god damn accept it!"

"How about we change rolls and see if YOU can accept it!"

Sam opened his mouth to retort but slammed it shut just as fast. They were receiving unwanted attention from the other Diner patrons and he really didn't want to argue with Dean over this now. He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "You are such a stubborn ass you know that?"

"Yea… I do."

"Well good… its just… the thing is… there WAS a miracle. You healed… again! I don't understand any of it. I don't know how… I don't know why and honestly if I never find out I will be just fine with it. I'm going to file it under 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth'."

Dean was silent knowing that the answers Sam wanted kept hiden would come up eventually. He didn't know it all but he played the game in his head over and over. He had an idea of what was going on and had no doubt Sam's ability to blame everything on himself would show its ugly head once he knew. Dean didn't want to deal with that now. He didn't have it in him for that talk, so he refrained from commenting and Sam took the hint that this conversation was slowly ending.

"Anyways… This stuff is suppose to help. So we'll see how it goes."

"Yea I'd like my hands to stop shaking so when I fire a damn .45 in Gordon's direction I wont miss." Dean was serious… as serious as a heart attack and Sam felt himself balk at the anger that radiated off the other hunter. Dean got up from the booth slowly, unable to hold a wince from the ache in his lower back and tossed a few dollars on the table for the coffee. "If we have to get out of here then get your ass moving."

"Dean? What happened to your back?" The question was out of the blue but over due.

"I don't know."

"Yes you do. What did he do to your back? You are speaking better now and your shaking issue is getting better… so it's the only thing that didn't heal."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

Dean put both hands flat on the table, leaning down to look straight into Sam's face. "Remember that knife lodged in my god damn stomach Sam?"

Sam swallowed thickly and glanced away, the unwanted memory flashing in his mind. He wanted this whole time for Dean to just look his direction and now that his big brother was staring him square in the eye he had to look away.

"Well Sammy it was a pretty fucking big knife… The end had to go somewhere."

Dean stood up slowly to his full height, taking his hands off of the table and out of Sam's face.

"Think about it…" And with that Dean slowly but menacingly escaped the small diners confines and disappeared out into the late morning sunshine.

Sam sat open mouthed for what felt like forever. Shock and sadness overcame his senses. It made complete sense. Gordon's knife went far enough down into Dean that it could have easily stabbed him in the spine… or a nerve… something in that area. Oh god! The pain his brother must still be in… and here he sat here gushing his own feelings!

But why didn't THAT heal? This lack of answers was really getting old.

What he didn't know was that those answers had watched him for two days now from the backseat of his brothers black Chevrolet Impala.

* * *

Dean made his way back to the room with more pep in his step then he'd had in a long time. Adrenaline from his anger at the world was to blame for the surge of energy moving his limbs. Soon that would dissipate but for now he was going to milk it for all it was worth. All he wanted to do was pack up and get out of here. He needed to move on… keep moving. Somehow he felt like the more he distanced himself from where this terrible nightmare had started then the better he'd get. He'd have to apologize to Sam eventually but right now he wanted his little brother to simmer in the information he had just given him. Sam was desperate for answers and Dean wasn't ready to give them yet. Not one to be pushed into anything, he threw Sam a bone to gnaw on for a while. Sam would be all Emo about it for days and leave him the hell alone. 

The hunter was halfway back to the room when movement caught his eye.

Dean wasn't near close to full strength but his hunter instincts clicked in as he stepped sideways and grabbed a handful of fabric from around the corner of the old motel. A young kid emerged from around the corner, held by the scruff of the t-shirt. Dean mashed him into the wall in front of him.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you that stalking is a creepy hobby?" Dean took in the look of the young teen in front of him and grimaced. The kid couldn't have been older then 13 or 14 years old. His once white shirt matched the hue on his skin with an unmistakable layer of dirt. It was hard to tell what color the teen's hair actually was and at the realization that the odd smell permeating into the hunters senses was from the boy that stood before him, Dean released his hold and took a step back. He unconsciously wiped his hands on his jeans trying to get the dirt and smell as far away from him as he could.

"I wasn't stalking."

"I figure you may have missed a few classes there kid. Standing in dark corners spying on someone is considered stalking."

"I wasn't spying or stalking."

"Well you certainly were making my business yours…"

"I… I… well it sorta is." The kid stammered and looked down to his worn dirty shoes.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't remember me?" The young boy couldn't help but to cower in this mans' presence. Even after seeing what he had seen he could tell this man in front of him wasn't one to be trifled with on a normal day.

"Should I?"

"Yes sir… I…" The young kid paused for a brief moment as he caught sight of the other brother striding toward them.

"Well?" Dean urged while following the kids line of sight. He watched Sam walk up in confusion and turned his attention back to the skinny kid cornered in front of him.

The teen glanced back and forth from one man to the other before settling his eyes back to Dean.

"I…I was the one that healed you."

* * *

I use to be the queen of Cliffies and don't seem to have that knack with my Supernatural fic lol... i'm on a mission to get my title back again lol Don't hate me!


	11. Chapter 11

_**The Road So Far!: (ha!)**_

_"You don't remember me?" The young boy couldn't help but to cower in this mans' presence. Even after seeing what he had seen he could tell this man in front of him wasn't one to be trifled with on a normal day._

_"Should I?"_

_"Yes sir… I…" The young kid paused for a brief moment as he caught sight of the other brother striding toward them._

_"Well?" Dean urged while following the kids line of sight. He watched Sam walk up in confusion and turned his attention back to the skinny kid cornered in front of him._

_The teen glanced back and forth from one man to the other before settling his eyes back to Dean._

_"I…I was the one that healed you."_

* * *

Dean wasn't done absorbing what the teenager had just said before Sam swooped in from behind. He grabbed the kid harshly by the collar, pushing him farther against the wall with such force that Dean was sure the boy got his breath knocked out of him. Sam gave him an angry glare before turning his head from side to side taking in their surroundings. He let his eyes dart to and fro in hunter mode searching for any signs that they were being watched.

"Where is he?" Sam's voice held a frightening bitter tone that Dean wasn't at all familiar with. He'd seen his brother angry before but right now there wasn't an accurate word to describe the rage that radiated off his body in waves.

"Huh?" The teen was honestly frightened of the fury oozing off the man in front of him and if Sam could feel anything else other then his blood boiling through his veins, he'd have been able to feel the boy shake in his grasp.

"Is he here??"

Dean had finally snapped out of his thoughts and interjected. Sam was starting to scare even HIM. "Sammy…"

"WHERE IS HE?" The loud shout made Dean wince and the look on the boys face made the hunter wonder if he might need a change of pants.

"I don't know!!!" The youngster reached his dirty hands up passed Sam's to wipe away at the tears starting to form. The boy thought he was tougher then this and didn't want these two men to see him cry.

"Sam, Jesus, let him go!" Sam felt Dean's hand firmly grasp his shoulder. The touch was sobering and Sam tried to blink out the rage filled stare as he loosened his hold on the youngsters' shirt. What had gotten into him? He lost his cool way too quickly. It was amazing what lengths he would go for Dean. Sam couldn't remember the last time he was so mad. Even after Jess…

Dean shook his head at Sam's level of anger and slid the key in the door just next to them. "Get the hell in here before someone calls the damn cops. Sam… let him go."

Sam obeyed, a state of shock dripping over him. He suddenly felt numb and spent at the energy it took to be THAT angry. The boy couldn't even look up at him but was obedient and followed Dean into the musty motel room. Sam followed behind; shuffling his feet in deep thought at what the hell was going on here. He shut the door behind himself as Dean uttered the word "Sit", pointing to the edge of Sam's bed. The teenager put up no fight and plopped down next to the packed duffle bag resting on the bedspread. They were in the process of moving on to the next state but now 'check-out' was going to be a bit late till they figured out what was going on here.

"So what's your name kid?" Dean stayed three feet away, far enough that his nose wasn't assaulted by the stench of neglect that permeated off the boys' body and clothes. He crossed his arms with an air of authority leaving the youngster intimidated enough to cooperate and gained back a tiny bit of sparkle in his eye. Sam relished in the sight of it. Dean had been far from himself lately and it was nice to see a little bit of "Old Dean" shine through. Though he wouldn't have felt so much comfort in it if he had know it was a way for Dean to hide his shaking hands.

"Alex…" The boy answered sheepishly, staring at his feet.

"Alex what…"

"Just Alex." The boy said firmly.

"Okie…" Dean caught the defensiveness in the kids voice and decided not to push it any further.

"So what were you doing with Gordon?" Sam's question finally brought the boy's eyes up to the younger hunter along with Dean's glare. The other Winchester was going to get to that point eventually but Sam seemed to be on a mission.

"I can heal people…"

Sam and Dean gave sideways glances at each other. They had already figured that part. But how? Why?

"Since when?" Dean asked.

"I dunno... a couple years ago? I was playing in the playground behind the orphanage…" Alex stopped for a moment at the realization of what he had just admitted. "Uh… and a kid fell off the monkey bars. He skinned his knee. And… I healed it."

"How'd you know you could?" This was starting to intrigue Dean even though in the back of his mind this kids "Special ness" was going to reek havoc on Sam some how. And Dean wasn't up to dealing with Angstie Sam just yet.

"I didn't… I just touched him. That's all. I just helped him up."

"Wow... real Samaritan of you." Sam mumbled.

Dean turned to his little brother and gave him an other irritated glare at his interruption. Sam, however, ignored the glare on again and continued to sink is teeth in. "So your in it with that Gordon asshole?"

"Noo! No! I swear!" Alex looked up to the two hunters with pleading eyes to believe him. He was really hoping these guys could help him! He wasn't expecting the interrogation or being accused of anything bad. He tried to help the man in front of him as much as he could! Tears started to form in the corners of his eyes once again and Dean, ever being the sap, was first to react.

"Sam, knock it off." Alex watched as the man he had watched get tortured and then tried to heal put his hands on his knees and looked into his eyes. There was a kindness there that stopped his eyes from draining any farther… a softness of someone who had seen way too many bad things… dealt with a lifetimes worth of pain and heartache… a weathered soul that had the power to take the anxiousness away with just a comforting look. The teenager relaxed slowly as the man named Dean gave him a small smile. "I'll hold off Sasquatch for the moment… Just tell us how you came to be with Gordon, ok?"

The boy nodded energetically and started switching his fingers and hands together in a nervous habit as he thought of how to start. "Umm… ok… He showed up one day. Said he use to be a friend of my fathers and just wanted to visit… said we'd take a walk around the play area so he could tell me about my dad. Then he offered to get me ice cream and that we'd only be gone for a little while. I figured if he knew about my dad… it would be ok."

"And of course it wasn't… Why would you go with someone you didn't know?"

Alex looked over to Sam, suddenly displaying a sarcastic facial expression. "Sir… what the hell do I know? I'm 13."

Dean tried his best to cover up his amused smirk as best he could. This kid was starting to remind him of someone… "Ya know there's a valuable lesson to be learned here… That whole 'don't get in the car with strangers' shit? Good advice."

"I know… I shouldn't have! But I just wanted to learn about my mom and dad." Alex let his eyes settle back down at his dirty sneakers, the very mention of his parents causing him to shut off a tiny bit.

Dean noticed that look of sorrow right away. After all, he's carried that look many times before. "They are both dead?"

"Yea…"

Sam's eyebrows fused together in confused interest. "Did they die in a house fire?"

"No… a car accident. They were on the way home from dinner and it was snowing really bad. They went off the road. It was their anniversary."

"Jesus... that's fuckin sad. I'm officially depressed."

"Shut up Dean…" Dean looked back at Sam and gave him a look. Dean honestly felt bad for the kid and normally so would Sam given their amazingly similar losses. But Sam was relentless against this boy. Almost like he wasn't giving him a chance no matter how innocent he could possibly be in this whole mess. Sam was looking at Alex like he was the devil… not someone forced into being evil's right hand. It was uncharacteristic and frankly… it concerned the older Winchester.

"I was 5 when that happened and I stayed with my grandma till she passed away three years later. I have no aunts or uncles or anything… so I ended up in the orphanage."

"So you're an orphan huh?" It was the first time this whole encounter that Sam reverted back to his normal self. His question was sincere and sympathetic, finally feeling a momentary connection with the teen for just a second… a very SHORT second. Alex may have been a frightened kid but he also had a defensive mechanism similar to one particular hunter in the room.

"Uh… yea. Hence the Orphanage part." The sarcastic comment caused both brothers' jaws to drop in sync. It was Dean who recovered first. His shocked expression turned into a sly grin he finally couldn't cover as he looked over at Sam and pulled one hand slightly out of his crossed arms to point with his thumb towards Alex in amusement. Obviously approving. Sam's caring moment shot from a canon out the motel window. The aggravated anger returned and he bit his tongue to suppress it.

"Don't worry kid… so are we." Dean added after recovering from his amusement. Yep. This kid definitely reminded him of someone!

Alex looked up at Dean with big sad eyes. The teen saw genuine understanding residing in the older hunters orbs and craved to feel that comfort again. The other guy was scaring him a bit. Plus he towered over him like a building. Alex knew these two brothers were tough just from what he'd heard coming from Gordon. But he never expected either of them to understand his pain, especially not the one defending him right now. "I didn't want to help him…"

The kids voice was softer now. Sincere… "We understand…"

Sam's head snapped up in defense and gave his brother a disgusted face. "We do?"

"Yea Sam. He's just a kid. This is Gordon we're talking about."

Sam shook his head at his brother's acceptance of all of this. He always made a point of trusting Dean's judgment. It normally wasn't wrong. But right now Sam couldn't see past his anger for anything… not even a 13-year-old boy. "So why did you find us? How'd you get away?"

"I was with him when we got to that bar. But I ran off when he went inside. I saw your car and I got in the back."

"Sammy you left my doors unlocked?" It was Dean's attempt to keep control of Sam's sudden rage flares.

"Not now…" The younger hunter put a hand up to stop his brother's nonsense. Dean's lip curled up. How dare his little brother 'shush' him when all he was doing was trying to lighten the mood? "How'd you know it was our car?"

"Gordon was following you both for a while. I was with him some of the time."

"Fantastic. We're slipping Sam." Muttering his distaste in their lack of being careful, Dean looked away from the conversation. They had to shape up. Their miss on this one had logged him so serious therapy time. Granted that therapy wouldn't be normal. Target practice at a picture of Gordon… OR preferably Gordon himself… stabbing a werewolf through the heart a few dozen times… hell maybe even cutting off a few vampire heads would do the trick just fine. "But why come with us?"

"Well… I figured… any enemy of my enemy is my friend."

The two Winchesters paused at the comment, both thinking this kid was weathered from life and older in spirit then he actually was in body. Kind of like they had to be at such a young age.

"Hmmm. I like this kid." Dean finally blurted out.

"Dean…" Sam's face was stern and annoyed. He pushed his brother out the motel door, away from Alex, even though it wasn't far enough away for him to not be able to hear their harsh whispers. "He was involved in torturing you!"

"I think I'd have remembered him stabbing me with red hot pokers Sam, he's only a kid! He didn't do any of that! He's a victim too here."

"But he was there! He didn't help you!"

"Yes he did!" Dean stepped back a step and waved to himself. "I'm standing here aren't I?"

Sam knew Dean had a point but the anger still flowed through him. The thought of this kid…. With a power… helping hurt his brother? It made him want to break things. Solid… heavy things!

"I kind of figured this."

"What?"

"Well how else do you explain the healing? I knew someone else was there Sam… I just couldn't see them. It makes sense now. He was too short to see."

"He's like me…"

"It appears so."

"But… Dean… He helped Gordon!"

"That does NOT make him Evil Sammy! Don't start this crap now and jump to conclusions like you always do. It just makes him a scared child!" Dean paused to catch Sam's eyes that had drifted away in anger. "When did we do the attitude switch?"

"What?"

"Since when did you become the PMSing bitch and me the sweetheart."

Sam fought hard but eventually couldn't resist smiling a smidge at his brothers attempt to ease the moment. It was just an other piece of reassurance that Dean was getting back to normal… slowly but surely. Finally he sighed and let his shoulders relax a bit. "Dean I just don't trust him."

The older hunter put a hand on his brother's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "I know you don't… but you trust ME right?"

"Of course!" Sam defended his loyalty. "You are the ONLY one I trust."

"Alright then…" Dean took his hand of Sam's shoulder and gave him a light smack on the cheek. "He's not evil Sam… just like you're not. So lets quit the drama for now and get the hell out of dodge."

"Where are we gonna go?" Sam asked while following his brother back into the room.

"We'll go where someone can help watch our backs till we figure things out and so things can get back to normal." Dean turned his head to look at the dirty boy still nervously sitting on the edge of the motel comforter. By 'Things' he meant Alex and by 'normal' he meant himself. "We're going to Bobby's."

It was almost like that was the magic words that Sam had waited for the whole time. The order he needed. Dean's order. Sam dropped his feelings on the boy and went to work picking up things in the room so Dean didn't have to carry anything. Ellen had told him back at the Roadhouse to wait for Dean. And right now he couldn't believe how right she was. A decision from Dean made things all seem to fit back into their rightful places. The big brother mentality kicked back in… 'Dean will know what to do.' Sam's whole composure eased as they made their way to the Impala. His happiness to have his brother back… to have him take back the responsibilities and moving them forward put him in a content haze as he moved along, completely oblivious to the uncertainty in Dean's face.

Dean knew they needed help and the Roadhouse wouldn't have been the first place he'd gone. All they had was Bobby. And as much as he DIDN'T want to put the older hunter into possible danger with their presence, he knew the old codger wouldn't have had it any other way.

So Bobby's it was… to sort things through… to map out a plan… and to heal. Dean wasn't exaggerating when he said he wanted to make sure when he got a shot at Gordon he didn't miss.

And he was damn well going to make sure he didn't.

After the trunk was packed up and the kid was ushered into the backseat of the old Chevy, Sam stopped and turned to his big brother. Reaching into his jeans pocket, he pulled out a set of keys and smiled as he handed them over to his brother. "Your old girl missed you."

Dean was unsure at first. After all… he still had a few bugs to work out. But nothing… not even a few shaking limbs and a constant shiver was going to stop him from driving his baby. Dean's mouth curled up into the first honest smile Sam had seen in a long time as he snatched the keys from his lanky little brother's hand.

* * *

Ok… I'm not going to go in depth as to why this took me so long but I'm sooo very thankful that you are have kept up with me! I've lost a family member…. Cars been smashed… computer died… new job… Everything's been so hectic and once you've been away from something for so long its hard to jump back into it.

I'm sorry this is so short. But I wanted to get something out sooner rather then later. I'm off to my grandmother's funeral and then afterwards I'll drabble on a bit more. I have the end already done.. I always do that LOL.. I don't see it for an other 5 chapters though… so… but thank you all for the reviews and the PM's! they kicked me in the rear end to get a move on.

Steph


End file.
